grieving over "smokey" 12 year old male GSD - Page 1

This is my first forum ever!!!! But i have no idea how to deal with this, i feel like no one understands what im feeling. Smokey was actually my mom and dads dog (they got him when i was a sophomore in high school) i had moved away, out of state, college, own apartment..etc but i have always been around him. Long story short giving the state of the economy my parents were losing their house and 2 weeks ago i decided to go get smokey and move him in with me (i just bought a house) he was an outside dog there but i decided he deserves the world and to be spoiled....so i did everything to have him sleep inside and be with me and my boyfriend in the house ratther than stuck outside. Well about a week before i took him my mom text that he did not eat and he was dragging his back legs...she was able to get him some medicine for his hips that helped tremendously and some socks that were cushioned so the pressure wouldnt be so bad for him. She said he was not very active and wasnt eating too much but over that week he did a 360. So when i brought him home i continued the medicine...he still dragged his back legs a little bit....maybe ate a few bites of food in am and pm. He followed me into every room and just slept next to me. The neighbors dogs barked...he didnt bark a single time. He only pooped twwice that i saw in the 2 weeks. He drank tons of water and to add to it i think he was slightly deaf. Well needless to say i took him to the vet and they suggested he has to be in tons of pain and that it would be best to put him down. As i bawled my eyes out i signed him over...i feel entirely heart broken and empty. I feel the what ifs...the what if i just kept giving him medicine and didnt take him hed still be following me...hes gone and i cant let go. Please help!!!!!

Superstyna:   welcome to the board, sorry it has to be under these circumstances.  You are, of course, distressed about Smokey. There's nothing wrong with allowing yourself to grieve for him.  Obviously I did not know the dog, but I bet he was a terrific old fella.
You might be able to take a little comfort in one or two thoughts:
1  If he was in a lot of pain, by taking the action you did you spared him any more of it.  This service is one of the things we can do for our canine friends, to lighten their load.
2 He may not have been.  It is impossible to tell without doing a post mortem on him, but the symptoms you have described sound as though it could well have been the condition Degenerative Myleopathy  (which is a bit like Multiple Sclerosis in humans).  This often strikes in old age (and 12 years for a GSD is a "good innings", they are not a very long-lived breed in the main) and one of the features is that it sometimes "comes and goes" a bit, being worse at times then
improving for a while.  One of the noted things about DM (if it was that) is that they frequently are not in pain;  its more like numbness, or "pins and needles" - especially if not very far advanced.
You only had him living back with you for a couple of weeks, so that makes it all feel worse.  But in those two weeks you
made him more comfortable by bringing him indoors - and what old dog does not deserve to get a bit spoilt ?
DM isn't a 'curable' condition, nor is the arthritis of old age;  so what you did for him this week, you might very soon have had to do not too far down the track.
Just promise me you won't let anyone tell you "It was just a dog".  He's been a very important part of your family and of your growing up, and no one can take that fact away.
With best wishes - Linda.

Thank u linda!!!!!! (Def made me cry some more) He was an awsome fella indeed :). Thats what i was told he had....it was real bad when he got to my house then hed be good for a day..it hopped back in forth. It worried me that he wasnt eating....i got him to eat steak which he never liked human food but at this point he wasnt eating so i gave him anything he wanted. I almost felt like i was hospice (but unintentionally) he def had signs of old age...when hed wake up i had to make really loud noises for him to realize i was right next to him or else hed jump n a panic to go hunt me down. Whats making it tuff for me is thinking...how do i know he was in pain? Maybe the medicine was working and he was getting better? I cant stop thinking if i did a premmature move? Falls to that centurys old question....can he just send me a sign i did the right thing? Please ;) thank you for responding....i do take comfort in his age and knowing it wasnt cureable

And i pinky promise...not just a dog..he was my little brother :)

Sunday we had to say goodbye to our Therapy/detector and best friend Shepherd... Klytie.  She went from fully healthy with boundless energy to the Rainbow Bridge in the space of an hour. (Vet suspects her heart gave out) She was at least 12 years old, but only looked 7... While her passing was horrendous for both of us it saved our having to make the decision.  I would have made the same choice that you did with DM.  It's both a very painful, and embarassing disease for a Shepherd (Yeah, some won't get that part, but I've seen the appologetic expression from my friend when he couldn't manage what had been easy before.) Glad you had that brief time at home with him, and that he left this world loved and warm.  Klytie and he shall dance around the bridge waiting for us I'm sure.

I look forward to the nudge :) thank you sherry! Once im in better spirits im gona do a mural in my art room that represents him hopefully that will help too

Windwalker.....i was completely good until the last sentence then the tears came on like a waterfall ! Im sorry for youur loss as well! Sudden is no easier i would think :( ya he was at the point where he squatted mostly to pee and could barely lift his tail to poop...im happy to know he has a gsd friend there to greet him. :D

I lost my best friend on February 18th. She was almost 8 years old, & had cancer, but I was still not prepared for her death. She was doing well on pain meds one day, & the next she was struggling. We took her to the vets to end her sudden suffering, but she died in my arms on the exam room floor, before they could give her the euthanasia drugs. They did at least give her an IM injection of pain medicine when they saw how fast she was declining. My heart shattered that day, & I don't even care if I ever find the pieces. My sympathy for your loss. I'm sorry to say it hurts forever. jackie harris

Omg that story brakes my heart jackie. I was a mess at the vets! Im a mess now still but while i was there about 8 different employess came out to see him..he won all the hearts over. Its been two days and i cant control the crying. His hair on the floor makes me sad but i cant vacuum it either. My other half has tried to get me outta the house but my eyes are so swollen