Favorite Quotes - Page 4

"Amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic".

1)  One of my least favorite, by W.C. Fields:  "any man who hates babies and dogs can't be all bad".

2)  A cute one:   "I'm that same David Crockett, fresh from the backwoods, half-horse, half-alligator, a little touched with snapping turtle; can wade the Mississippi, leap the Ohio, ride upon a streak of lightning, and slip without scratch down a honey locust; can whip my weight in wild cats-and if any gentleman pleases, for a ten dollar bill, he may throw in a panther-hug a bear too close for comfort, and eat any man opposed to Jackson."

3)  One we have all heard and probably don't know where it came from, from former heavywieght boxer Robert Fitzsimmons.  His reply to a reported when asked about his upcoming fight with James Jeffries in 1899:

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall."

Fitzsimmons lost........

Two more:

What comes around goes around, and a leopard never changes its spots.

"you can't fix stupid" - ron white ( and used on occasion by a couple of posters on this board)

"And there by the grace of God go I"  

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.     George Carlin

Keep guessing, its the only thing you seem to do really well. 

cant remember where i heard it, but it will help you keep your mouth shut.

john

WHATS UP DOC !

Bugs bunny.

WE'RE BOUGHT AND SOLD FOR ENGLISH GOLD--A PARCEL OF ROGUES AMONG A NATION

RABBIE BURNS---TRANSLATED FROM AULD SCOTS INTO ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not exactly a quote, but my son and i were just at petco buying mice for his reptiles and i overheard 2 people behind me in the checkout line discussing dog food;

woman: " i am having problems with pedigree, do you like the science diet?"

man: "my dogs seem to do pretty good on it"

woman: "how often do you feed them"

man (seriously): "i feed them every day"

at that point i got to leave w/o laughing out loud....