OT..How to wash a toilet... - Page 1

1. Put both lids of the toilet up    
  And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.  
     You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.  
    Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. 
5. Flush the toilet three or four times.    
     This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home.    
     Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door. 
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,    
   And run outside where he will dry himself off. 
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sorry took a few tries to get it on the board correctly from the format it was in...

 A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner."Good morning," said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.''Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke
 and haven't got any money!' and  she proceeded to close the door.
 

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said.
'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of  this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.

 I'm a COMET gal myself, shakes out white, turns blue... and you know it's working! lol

Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny! Here's a few new Maxine quotes....
C O W S   Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.  
T H E    C O N S T I T U T I O N   They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq   .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.  
T H E   1 0    C O M M A N D M E N T S   The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.

jh

windwalker18 & 4pack that was soooo hilarious. I read them to my family and they almost dropped to the floor from laughter.