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by tigermouse on 16 October 2008 - 21:10
cant stop giggling hope you like it
E-mail sent to me today
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told Shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager
by Sue Worley on 16 October 2008 - 22:10
That is fantastic, why aren't there more like this !!!!!!!!!!!
by tigermouse on 16 October 2008 - 22:10
it wasnt my hubbie by the way lol
by Ninja181 on 16 October 2008 - 23:10
LMAO
thanks
by angusmom on 17 October 2008 - 01:10
yes, i did need a laugh. that was hilarious!! THANK YOU!
by funky munky on 17 October 2008 - 06:10
Tracie,great laugh, number 14 really cracked me up!!!! liz
by missbeeb on 17 October 2008 - 09:10
OK Tigermouse, here's my contribution:
Morris & Esther went to the State fair every year and every year Morris would say. "Esther, I'd sure like a ride in that helicopter."
Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter now, I might never get another chance."
To this, Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge charge you a penny! But... if you say one word, it's fifty dollars!"
Morris & Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy tricks but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again... still, not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "by golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out but you didn't, I'm impressed.
Morris replied, "well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!"
by funky munky on 17 October 2008 - 09:10
Well done,loved it still giggling, liz
by missbeeb on 17 October 2008 - 12:10
OK here's one that's a wee bit rude...
There's an Irish man and a Scots woman in bed having passionate sex together... mid flow, the Irish man stops and says, "look here, I thought you Scots were supposed to be tight?". The Scots woman replies, "yeah, well I thought you Irish were supposed to be thick!"
by funky munky on 17 October 2008 - 13:10
THAT'S A CRACKER. LIZ
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