Sharing personal news - Page 1

I haven't had much time of late, my father was recently diagnosed with dementia and he's gone downhill fast.  He still knows who family is, mostly, though he gets us confused with each other at times.  He can't properly place grandchildren and great-children, but he still loves them all and they always bring a smile to his face when they visit.  He often talks of death and dying and I don't quite know what to say, other than tell him that we all die and we never know when.

My mother is having an especially difficult time as she is a schedule oriented individual and has always done everything the same exact way, so change is not exactly a good thing for her so late in the game.  I'm concerned about her health as well.

The good thing is, my siblings and I are all in agreement with treatment and are all taking our share of responsibility.  We stick together when the going gets tough.

Anyway, I just needed to share with someone and would be glad for tips if anyone else has gone through this.  Tough days...

Jesus Christ is our hope.He is our peace,
He is our joy.He is our security.In Short he is our everthing.
Whe we become totally dependent on Him,He returns to us total secutity.
Anything else IS A FOOL PARADICE that will quickly end in chaos and oblivian.

TRAVELS, STROLL THROUGH THE.N.T. TONIGHT.

IF IT IS TRUE WHAT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR SAIS, SPEAK TO YOUR GRANFATHER  might save his soul .
   A person is never to big to swallow their pride.
I also had difficult day toda.Had to lay me oldess female in her grave {14 years old}

Thanks for being patient and listening tom.

Your still just as important to me then any other poster here.

gouda

Thank you Gouda, I'm sorry to hear about your day too.

Note: May I ask a favor, please?  I appreciate any support you give and I know what you post comes from your heart, but could you please, for once, stop ramming the religion down my throat?

Thanks.

Well it has been 5 mins since we hung up n I found your thread .I am laughing so hard my ribs hirt

​I do not know whether to send u  flower. Or a poem or a box of Chocolates?  
Mmm. How about. A Dallas Cowboys Touchdown?  Or a sweat short with DC on it.. Boy will u be in  Hot  water!!!    Love ya.  Be strong!!!
YR.  This is one of Pepsii's daughters over in Indiana.  Mesquite PD who lives close to Moons. Will get to see when  we get there.  Heads up Moons!!!
M

Sorry about your dad!  Must be heartbreaking.  My husband's grandmother suffered from Alzheimer's and did not know any of us in her last years.  She lived to be 98 years old.  

It is difficult to see your parents become frail.  I'm also beginning to experience this with my parents.  Not easy.  
 

Funny you should post this as I just returned home from my grandparent's home this evening..My grandmother has dementia and it has progressed to the point that it is becoming difficult for my grandfather to care for her at home. She rarely recognized any of us~~ even her favorite grand daughter ( me )~~.. :(

I am quite familiar with the disease process as there is a dementia unit where I work and I often cover the shift for a friend  a couple of days a week,, However, it is different when it hits so close to home,,,

It is very hard for my grandfather to let go, but the time has come unfortunately to seek a nursing home environment for her,,,I would like to help take some of the care responsibilities, but my grandfather has a very difficult time allowing family to help even though my mother, brother, and myself are all nurses and more than capable of helping with much of her care ...

The spouses really suffer so very much watching their life long companion slip away and forget.them, their children, and years and years of life and memories...:(

Travels, it is great that you and your siblings can support each other and your mother,,That is really key during this time and as things progress in your fathers disease process,,There are support groups for spouses if that is something your mom would attend that might help and encourage her ,,

Be open and don't be afraid of discussing the hard things, like which sibling (in the event that mom is not able) will be the medical POA. Also don't waste time researching nursing facilities,,It's better to be prepared early then having to rush around when you need to find one now!...Find books about dementia and learn what to expect so it is not a shock when the normal symptoms of the disease progress over time..,,

My number one piece of advice is go with your dad into his world don't try to bring him into yours,,,I think the biggest mistake families make is trying to orient their loved one with dementia to the "real" world!,,Their world is the real world to them,,,They can NOT join you any longer in your world,,,It usually results in frustration for both sides and IMO  it is not healthy for the person with dementia to have to adapt to a world they can no longer understand.,,An example; mirrors,,many of those suffering from dementia become concerned about what or who is in the mirror looking at them,,~~it's their own reflection~~ instead of trying to reason with them about how it is their reflection blah. blah, blah, just remove the mirror,, :)

Hoping the best for you and your family during this difficult process,,:)



 

Travels, hugs to you. Wishing you and yours the very best. I am thinking of you and your dad.

Hi travels, Sorry about your father; I would like to say stay strong and be there for him, he needs you and may God bless your family... And regards what you said to Gouda about: please, for once, stop ramming the religion down my throat?

I have interesting video for you.



Shtal.

Ruger, my oldest sister is a nurse and lives just blocks from my parents, after just moving back from New Jersey last year (thank goodness!).   We're making meals, getting him out of the house and just spending time with him so my mother gets a break.  Last night, I went over to stay with him while my mother went to Church.  I also made a pot of chicken soup and sat and had a meal with him, which he really enjoyed.  My youngest niece was spending time with him during the day, but now she's started back to school.  She, at age 13, handles him better than anyone, he actually listens to her :)

He gets up in the middle of the night and rummages through drawers and closets.  He wants to know when they're going "home", because he thinks he's on vacation.  He talks of going to all kinds of places and we're afraid he's going to walk out the door one of these days.  I told my mother to alert the Borough Police, so they have all of his information in advance, in case he goes missing.   

My mother is determined to keep him at home, but I don't know if she'll be able to handle it long term.  My heart is breaking for her more than anything.  We have gotten referrals for a couple of people that can come in during the day to help, hoping that will happen within the next week.

Thanks all for the support and advice, it's going to be long road, I fear.