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by Red Sable on 19 December 2012 - 02:12

I think we could use one. I'll start:-

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and
places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up
and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about
one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back
into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter
as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,
which he places in front of the piano.

The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a
beautiful piece by Mozart! 'Where on earth did you get that?' says the
bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag again.
This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.'

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a
beautiful genie is standing before him. 'I will grant you one wish. Just one
wish~~ each person is only allowed one!'

The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million
bucks!' A few moments later, a duck walks into
the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another.
pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks
and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think
your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks,
not a million ducks.'

'Tell me about it!!' says the man,
'Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?

by Red Sable on 19 December 2012 - 02:12

by joanro on 19 December 2012 - 02:12

I'm still laughing, RS! Thanks ;-)

by Ibrahim on 19 December 2012 - 12:12

deleted

by Ibrahim on 19 December 2012 - 12:12

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

by joanro on 19 December 2012 - 13:12

Ibrahim, those are very old jokes, but I guess if you never heard them before......But they still hold women in contempt, and are still offensive.

by Ibrahim on 19 December 2012 - 13:12

Really ? I will delete it

by joanro on 19 December 2012 - 13:12

You're a gentleman, Ibrahim :)

by Ibrahim on 19 December 2012 - 13:12

by Bhaugh on 19 December 2012 - 15:12

I thought it was funny!

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