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by Bhall on 03 March 2011 - 12:03
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children...
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children...
by clc29 on 03 March 2011 - 13:03
LOL
........So true...........I'm going to have to copy this so I can print it out for my refrigerator door.
........So true...........I'm going to have to copy this so I can print it out for my refrigerator door.
by wanderer on 04 March 2011 - 23:03
new thread
by hexe on 05 March 2011 - 06:03
BHall, let me first say that I recognize that you don't know the story behind the first section of your post, so I'm not saying you've done anything wrong with regard to it. But I'm a big believer in making sure credit is given where it's due: the first portion of this is actually a post that first appeared on the original version of the GSD-L email list. It was an original piece, written by Gary Brewer, titled "An Open Letter to Nikita and Midnight" and dedicated to his two dogs.
Since it was first posted on that list, back in the Dark Ages before messageboards like these came along, Gary's letter to his beloved (and now departed) GSDs has been forwarded ad infinitum, but usually with the original title stripped out and the editing which now addresses it to "Dear Dogs and Cats". I don't know Gary personally, but I still try to make sure the piece gets properly credited whenever I see it pop up again in it's adulterated form. It would be a fitting memorial to Midnight and Nikita, the inspirations for this piece, if Gary is credited as author should anyone seeing it here care to forward it on to someone else.
Since it was first posted on that list, back in the Dark Ages before messageboards like these came along, Gary's letter to his beloved (and now departed) GSDs has been forwarded ad infinitum, but usually with the original title stripped out and the editing which now addresses it to "Dear Dogs and Cats". I don't know Gary personally, but I still try to make sure the piece gets properly credited whenever I see it pop up again in it's adulterated form. It would be a fitting memorial to Midnight and Nikita, the inspirations for this piece, if Gary is credited as author should anyone seeing it here care to forward it on to someone else.
by Bhall on 05 March 2011 - 12:03
Hexe,
it wasn't about credits. I received this in an email and thought it was so cute so I shared for others to enjoy.
it wasn't about credits. I received this in an email and thought it was so cute so I shared for others to enjoy.
by hexe on 06 March 2011 - 04:03
BHall, I understood why you posted it, and it doesn't take a nuclear physicist to puzzle out how you likely came across it--and nowhere did I suggest that you were taking credit for having written it, or representing it to be the work of anyone in particular. But since it was posted as an 'anonymous' piece, and because I DO know the origin of the original work and who it was authored by, I felt it was only right and necessary to try and see that the proper attribution for the piece accompany it if others opt to copy it from here and forward it on as well.
If you've ever written something from the heart about your dogs and shared it with some friends, then found it being forwarded by other people to you--but it's been changed, and your dogs' names removed, along with your own--you might understand why I think it's important that Gary Brewer's letter to his dogs Midnight and Nikita be properly titled and credited.
If you've ever written something from the heart about your dogs and shared it with some friends, then found it being forwarded by other people to you--but it's been changed, and your dogs' names removed, along with your own--you might understand why I think it's important that Gary Brewer's letter to his dogs Midnight and Nikita be properly titled and credited.
by Bhall on 06 March 2011 - 16:03
Hexe,
I will be sure to do research next time I post something for others to enjoy also. It is very important!
I will be sure to do research next time I post something for others to enjoy also. It is very important!
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