Dogs and Divorce - Page 1

Do they seem to go hand in hand many times?  It seems many doggy people(GSD's in particular) are separated, because of the dogs.  How many of you have picked your dogs over your spouse?

 I don't really believe if all else is that great, that dogs are the reason for divorce. I mean c'mon...person of your dreams, genuinely close relationship...you just don't leave because of dogs.

Even in the most extreme cases, the dogs aren't the true catalyst. That's like saying a 3rd party broke up your marriage; no, a cheating spouse or a cheating YOU broke it up, but there was trouble before that. 

I will say that when you are a fanatic about anything, you priortize differently and THAT can make it hard to be in a relationship. Personally, I am just not interested in anyone who doesn't accept my dedication to the dogs. As long as they get that and are ok, then I can compromise on just about anything else. 

My husband could take or leave my dogs or owning dogs in general but it's not an issue for us.  I couldn't care less about sports like soccer and basketball yet he plays those sports while I'm out training my dogs.  I can't be in a relationship where I'm expected to be the same person, with the exact same likes and dislikes, sorry.

Good points Jenni, except for the 'person of your dreams' part.   Does anyone really get that person? 
I'm still waiting for him to get back to me.  I thought I might as well get married in the meantime. 

Good for you Felloffher (can't seem to type that name without cringing).

I really agree that it is not the dogs that are the only problem, but I think they can add to the stress on a relationship.  

 Sometimes a partner can not understand why the hair doesn't bother you as it does them, or they resent the time you spend with the dogs, or the dogs during the puppy stage chewing their best drill, the brakeline on the trailer, the trailer spare tire cover, dragging sh!t all over the lawn.  All that kind of stuff can wear on a relationship, and yup I"m speaking from experience here. :-) 

- And no, I"m not divorced, still married to my highschool sweetheart.

The dogs are part of our family, but they have created issues at times. Especially since my DH thinks he is the World's Greatest Dog Trainer (Tah-duh!) when in actuality, he is the reason my dogs AREN'T trained as they should be. He wrecked Beckett's schutzhund career before we knew about his hip, because he kept correcting him with a smack on the nose with his tug toy as a little pup, until Beckett would flinch every time he saw it. GRRRR! And there have been too many other such instances to mention. Kali was very forgiving, & very smart, managed to figure out what was expected of her despite his efforts! Beckett is too drivey for his ol' school, smack 'em with a rolled newspaper training techniques type training. So poor Beckett was pretty much ruined. Lil' Bit & him get along just fine, & I don't interfere. Ansgar I still hope to salvage, so I really haven't done too much with her, she's a wild child yet, on the theory that if I can take her TO training at some point, maybe he won't be able to interfere as much.
On the other hand, he cheerfully gets up at any hour of the day or night to care for a sick dog, cleans up even the yuckiest messes, loves them like they were his kids, is inordinately proud of their silly selves....! We quarrel occassionally about what to do about this or that, & his experiences with Beckett really turned him off, so poor Beckett's on his list; but he loves the girls, defends them when they screw up, defends me when I screw up......! He is so very close to being my dream come true! And he's smart, & genuinely a nice person.(still male tho'.....ALPHA male, LOL!) And he knows, if the dogs go, so do I, LOL! It works for us! jackie harris 

I used "person of your dreams" to illustrate the point that there are issues aside from the dogs- you don't just have paradise one day and then get divorced over dog hair. But,  I won't settle for people any more than I'll settle when it comes to dogs, so if I didn't feel someone was close to that status...I sure as heck wouldn't marry them! 

I think ANYTHING can become an issue in an already strained relationship. 

Right now, I'm in probably the easiest relationship I've ever had in terms of the dogs. He's almost perfect- he understands that they are as much part of the package as my son is, he's not an idiot around them, my male actually seems to LIKE him (first time EVER that he hasn't picked on my boyfriend), he doesn't try to make them do things, he doesn't do anything with them that I don't ask him to or give permission to do....but he'll take care of them if I need him to. Perfect. And he's cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttte. ;-)  Only thing that would be better is if he was a good decoy.

In the past I have had dummies who thought suggesting I change something about my life with the dogs would work.  The father of my child suggested I neuter one for "fewer problems"!   I said I would have a lot fewer problems if HE had been neutered! 

Whew??? When you are a dog person and your mate isn't. There's not enough time to type that one. I had people tell me I put my dogs first or above them. In my eyes it's not exactly that. I have known the dogs longer and they are not just dogs to me. So no, they don't get locked up in the laundry room or kept away from the rest of the world because they are dogs and you're not used to dogs.

Or to have an ex scream and say "the dogs are always at my feet and I can't go anywhere without them following me". I believe I am one of the fairest people in life. And I love life. And my dogs are in that life. No, I don't believe that you (girlfriend) will know as much as me (I'd love that to happen)  or treat them the same as I do.  BUT you must make an honest effort. An honest effort is all I ask. And sometimes that is hard to find.

But we could on and on and on......................

Exactly!! Some people are lucky and marry an animal lover, but weirdly enough most dog lovers marry a non dog lover. I did and I know many others too. Some are hanging on to a miserable life, but my X choose to leave because he was jealous of my ONE dog! lol and YES that was the only issue that got blown way out of proportion by him to the point where it was like I was cheating on him with the dog. Keep in mind that at that time I spent an hour a day training and went to class one night a week!  I tried to get him involved in coming to competitions and such, but his comment was.... yeah  and sit there with all those DOG people! lol I patisipated in all of his hobbies and enjoyed them... but that was just something he could not live with. That was 16 years ago and I could not be happier!! Wouldn't he crap if he saw the 20 I have now!! : )  I have not been interested in marrage again, unless I stumble upon a dog lover just like me. Most people think we dog lover's are crazy... why?.... because we make sure our dogs eat better than we do.... don't go to our doctor because the dog needed to go to the vet... our idea of a vaction is to pack up and go to a dog show...  need I go on!!  To hell with the rest of the sane people!!  I love my dogs and my life with them!!
Debby