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by von zahnderhause on 05 January 2011 - 01:01
a blond was in her front yard working on her landscaping and a man walking down the sidewalk noticed her two German shepherds playing about and said to the lady nice dogs what are there names. the woman replied Timex and rolex the man said how did you pick there names, the lady said duh there watch dogs dummy .. i thought you might like some humor no offense to any blonds
by Laural H on 05 January 2011 - 05:01
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN
ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS
SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY
CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS
THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE
BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN
ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO
EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST
THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,
AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND
ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO
ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS
SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY
CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS
THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE
BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN
ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO
EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY
SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M
GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST
THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR,
AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY..
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND
ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO
by MaggieMae on 05 January 2011 - 05:01
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. The blonde driver dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'
The blonde driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.....................
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,"OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
by FLcoast on 05 January 2011 - 06:01
Very fond of blonde jokes, these are all great and I never heard a GSD one before. Sorry I can't share one I can't remember any.
by Mindhunt on 06 January 2011 - 00:01
Do you know why blond jokes are generally so short?
So Brunettes can understand them
by Red Sable on 06 January 2011 - 14:01
LOL, those are all great, although I think Mindhunts' is the best! 
by Sunsilver on 06 January 2011 - 17:01
A blonde is driving along the road on a snowy winter's evening, when she pull up beside a truck at a red light, and honks her horn to ge the driver's attention. When he rolls his window down, she yells across to him, "Hi, you don't know me, but my name is Mitzi, and I just wanted to let you know you're loosing your truck's load out the back of the tailgate!
Before the drive can respond, the light changes, and the blonde pulls away.
The driver waits until they are both stopped at the next light, then he honks his horn and rolls down his window and says,
"Hi, you don't know me, but my name is Wayne, and I'm driving a SALT TRUCK!"
There was one about a blonde, a herd of sheep and a border collie, but I don't remember it well enough to post it. Maybe someone else remembers it? The blonde bet the shepherd she could guess how many sheep were in the herd,or something like that.
Before the drive can respond, the light changes, and the blonde pulls away.
The driver waits until they are both stopped at the next light, then he honks his horn and rolls down his window and says,
"Hi, you don't know me, but my name is Wayne, and I'm driving a SALT TRUCK!"
There was one about a blonde, a herd of sheep and a border collie, but I don't remember it well enough to post it. Maybe someone else remembers it? The blonde bet the shepherd she could guess how many sheep were in the herd,or something like that.
by Sunsilver on 06 January 2011 - 17:01
Never mind.... Google is your friend!
Once upon a time there was a blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to prove to the world that blondes were NOT stupid. She cut and dyed her hair, and bought a new wardrobe. She also went out and bought a new convertible. As she was driving down a country road in the new car, she came across a herd of sheep. She stopped the car and called the shepherd over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.
"Well thank you," said the herder.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"Okay," replied the shepherd..
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
"Sure," said the shepherd.
So, the woman craned her neck to get a better look at the herd, then said,"382."
"Wow!" said the shepherd. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
The woman picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the shepherd approached the woman and said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real colour of your hair. .. can I have my dog back?"
Once upon a time there was a blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to prove to the world that blondes were NOT stupid. She cut and dyed her hair, and bought a new wardrobe. She also went out and bought a new convertible. As she was driving down a country road in the new car, she came across a herd of sheep. She stopped the car and called the shepherd over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep," she said.
"Well thank you," said the herder.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"Okay," replied the shepherd..
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
"Sure," said the shepherd.
So, the woman craned her neck to get a better look at the herd, then said,"382."
"Wow!" said the shepherd. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
The woman picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the shepherd approached the woman and said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real colour of your hair. .. can I have my dog back?"
by Red Sable on 06 January 2011 - 18:01
LOL!
by K9sRule on 06 January 2011 - 19:01
A blond and a redhead are watching news one evening. The redhead bets the blonde $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40-story building, will jump. "I'll take that bet," the blonde replied.
A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had indeed jumped from the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50.
"No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you $50."
The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the news earlier, so I knew how it was going to turn out."
"That's okay," says the blonde, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.
A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had indeed jumped from the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50.
"No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you $50."
The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the news earlier, so I knew how it was going to turn out."
"That's okay," says the blonde, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.
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