DEATH - Page 1

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by Steve Leigh on 25 March 2010 - 07:03

I hope you never have to face this.

My little (almost) 9 year old male, Tzar, will die – because I will cause his death – very soon. I’ve had dogs since 1969 – and this will be the first time in my life that I’ll live without a dog …. Tzar is my last and only dog.

Previously (for over 20 years), I’ve accepted the responsibility of euthanizing and cremating my dogs. This literally mean I have put a needle in their vein, injected euthanasia solution, killed the dog, and gone to the local crematorium and done what I consider to be my own, personal responsibility. I’ve never allowed a vet to kill one of my dogs. I’ve never needed to “allow” the owner of the pet crematorium to do the task at hand – I’ve always believed that my dogs were my family, and refused any “outsider” intervention. I’ve euthanized about 4 dozen of our family. I’ve cremated almost that many.

Very soon, “our family” will cease to exist. Tzar is the last and only dog – and he will soon be dead. His hips were garbage when he arrived here (at 9 weeks of age) in 2001, and have now gone progressively downhill to the point where he’s actually falling over occasionally. I cannot allow this to continue much longer.

He’s not in “visible” pain. He jumps on my bed, maneuvers around the house, and appears fairly normal. He doesn’t cry or vocalize. But I watch him carefully when I let him outside …. His back end is shot to shit. Both hips – gone. He eats his food with one hind leg on and off the ground. He sometimes “trips” when coming into the house. (2 steps up) Occasionally, he shows evidence of inability to use his hind legs.

Now, I have little choice, but more limitations. I will not put the needle in Tzar. Instead, I’ll have my attorney bring him to total strangers – meaning the vet’s office – to be killed. I won’t cremate him or bury him – I no longer have the capacity to do these things. So he will be “disposed of” by a veterinarian clinic that has grossed thousands of dollars from me – as well as many of my clients – for decades.

Tzar’s inevitable death is a bitch. Since 1981, I’ve done my best to cope with the death of our dogs – but I’ve always had a dozen (or more) dogs to make the situation a little more bearable.

I’m not very happy right now.

www.sl-prokeys.com

DDR-DSH

by DDR-DSH on 25 March 2010 - 07:03

Sorry, Steve. Death sucks. We can only speculate as to what is on the other side. I do know that I've seen dying dogs wag their tails, as if they were greeting someone they knew.. maybe an old friend. I've seen this happen more than once.

Just remember that there's a time for everything.. a time to die and a time for living. You're still living. Don't let it get you down too much.

You know me.. We talked before. My Magic Jack sux so bad.. I tried to email you, but your email was down for awhile?

Anyone who wants to see a tribute to a lovely woman and beautiful soul should go to your website and read.
Also a lot of very good information on table training, Schutzhund history, and music history on your site. I've spent hours there. Lots of funny stuff, too! Nice of you to put it up, Steve. God bless..

Scoutk9GSDs

by Scoutk9GSDs on 25 March 2010 - 08:03

Steve,

 I feel the same way you do about not letting anyone else put a dog down. I don't understand how anyone could let a stranger put their dog down. I know you have your reasons for not having another dog but it seems to me that you are the type of person that really needs the companionship that only a dog can give. It's your decision. Most people will never really know a dog like I think you do with yours. That is why you feel the way you do about it. Hang in there.... 

GSDtravels

by GSDtravels on 25 March 2010 - 09:03

I know emptiness, loneliness, grief...I'm sorry for your coming loss.  Even though you can't physically do your "duty", know that you are taking the responsibility to make that final decision and have his best interest at heart.  That, in itself, is enough.

Sunsilver

by Sunsilver on 25 March 2010 - 09:03

Steve, I am so sorry to hear this. I know you are pretty much alone since your wife passed, and can hazard a guess as to how hard this is going to be for you.

Scout, Steve doesn't want to get another dog because he himself is ill, and there would be no one to  look after the dog when he is gone.

One of the most beautiful things I've ever read about death is this. I hope it gives you a little encouragement.



A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door. On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room, and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.

I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing...

I know my Master is there and that is enough."






by tuffscuffleK9 on 25 March 2010 - 12:03

My prayers are with you.  May the Lord comfort you during and after this time.

Tuff

DebiSue

by DebiSue on 25 March 2010 - 12:03

So sorry for your pain(s) Steve.  Been there and yeah, it sucks.  My heart breaks for you.
Deb

by hexe on 25 March 2010 - 19:03

Steve, while there's never a 'good' way to do this, couldn't you get a vet who'll come to the house, instead of Tzar having to go to the vet's? 

ziegenfarm

by ziegenfarm on 25 March 2010 - 21:03

yes, try to get a vet to come to the house.  a friend, relative, neighbor.....etc might be able to help you with burial.  it would make you feel much better about this.  don't be in too big of a hurry.  usually the dog lets you know when its time, but then you already know that.  i feel for you as we will most likely be going thru that ourselves in about a year or so.  it is the very worst part of dog ownership.  take it easy on yourself and the dog.
pjp

by crhuerta on 25 March 2010 - 23:03

Steve,
I am with you in thoughts.......
Robin





 


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