Homeward Bound - Page 14

Wow.  Please don't let this become some kind of pissing match. I only meant the thread to be a sort of tongue-in-cheek journal/travelogue, status updates for people I consider my friends on this board. I intended it to be light on philosphy, heavy on whimsy, illustrated with poor quality camera phone pix. The only thing I solicited above was a ride to Manassas to pick up the van.
Thank you again mobjack... Too bad it wasn't farther. We barely got started on fixing the world before we were there!

Each of us has their own particular version of hell. My own personal version is serious conflict with people I care about, be it between us or about us. My No. 1 hope in having shared some personal experiences historically hidden under the proverbial rug in most circles, myself just another dog trainer loping along through the cosmos, is that it will broaden the awareness of domestic abuse, perhaps cause a few hardened hearts here to soften when faced with the possibilty of a similar situation in their own inner circles. If I was fighting some socially distained medical condition I would have shared THAT here, with the same hope.
Maybe I DO have something in common with Farah Fawcett after all. Too bad it isn't looks or talent ;-/

My heartfelt thanks to those of you who have been so supportive of some silly little dog trainer you may or may not have even met, so many ways. Whether you just called to say "hi" and share a bit about your own similar experiences (and your survival of same :-))) or just inserted a thumbs up and a word or two of encouragement, or a prayer :-) or invited me into your home and your life, (WITH DOGS no less :), or created a handsome trust fund for my dogs and I to squander frivolously on fancy cars and gourmet diets, please know you have my sincerest gratitude for the thoughts and feelings behind your actions. The only repayment I can promise (outside what I owe for rent and kennel board, of course) is continuing to rescue and re-home a dog now and then, and pledging a portion of any windfall to "offical GSD Rescue Org's.

If my actions have disappointed or embarrassed or disgusted you, (Louise) please accept my humble apologies. Feel free to avoid being caught dead with me. I will understand. There are one or two folks reading this I share a mutual distaste with/for anyway. I can already hear them whispering about how I should be ashamed of myself for showing my face at the next event I attend, not having made more of myself, etc. Can't please everybody. Too late to change my name and get into pot bellied pigs or vintage super-hero memorabilia or whatever.

Fortunately for moi, the revelations of my vile personal thoughts and experiences, right here on a public GSD forum (of all places!!!) has resulted in the births of what I fully expect to be lifetime friendships with some truly exceptional human beings and the deepening of some already extant well before the $#!+ hit the fan..
What's that old saying about some goodness coming out of every... what?

Please draw your family close, if you are fortunate enough to have any. Pay attention when they seem to distance themselves from their friends and family in deference to a significant other, even pissing you off as an excuse to avoid contact. This is the first sign that abuse is occuring. For myself, I am looking forward to getting to know a sister... the only surviving member of my family... essentially estranged since we were children.
Yes, better late than never... (that goodness coming out of crap thing again)

Its late. I'm tired. If I didn't return your phone call tonight its because I have completely lost my voice. No off-leash dog walking tonight!
Good night and God bless.

Hi Shelly, drink warm liguids and gargle with warm salt water for your throat. If you are not feeling better in a few days please be seen by a clinic. I have friends in Cooksville TN it is between Nashville and Marysville if you need anything.
Always,
Cee

May I say, last year at this time, I was in quite a predicament myself...ahem, not that I'm completely out of it yet, LOL.  My relationship was not abusive but I found myself alone for the first time in 35 years.  I lost pretty much everything one person can lose.  Let's see, my mother-in-law, who could have written a book on how to be the best MIL possible.  A few days later, actually the day after the funeral, my marriage of 34 years, my job and the home I planned on retiring in and baking cookies for my grandchilren, surrounded by dogs, of course.   All of my dreams (actually, part of my childhood, I got married at 18.) just disappeared, poof!  Not that the marriage was not in trouble, not that I had no blame, but none the less, it was all gone.  So, I left for the journey of my life, trying to figure out how to build a new puzzle in such a short time.  Here I am, middle-aged and starting all over from scratch.   I didn't really share my reasons, but I attempted to share my journey and some of you seemed to enjoy it.  Some of you even extended invitations.  YellowRose, in particular, opened her home and her heart and we truly enjoyed some time together.  I came here, not to ask for financial assistance, but for emotional assistance.  And even though nobody knew the real story behind my travels, it still felt good to have even faceless friends.  It was what I needed at the time.

So, let's just say that everybody handles things in a different way.  But, when somebody is in trouble, can't we just be a friend, put the judging aside for just a moment?  Can't we be supportive when the bottom has dropped out for someone?  Maybe all other alternatives are exhausted, should you give up?  NO, you should do whatever it takes to be able to go on just one more day.  And try to stretch those days to a destination.  You reach that destination Shelley, and don't look back.  Keep your chin up, you'll make it!

Why make the trip in the dead of winter? Just curious.

Very simple: I had no choice.
I had planned to be in CA, settled in and working by first week Novemeber at the latest. My ex-to-be knew that, didn't want it to happen, so he sued me for spousal support on Oct. 29, which required (as in bench warrant for no show) me to be present at a hearing the week before Christmas. Traveling across this big country by myself with 6 precious dog lives (most of which do NOT get along together) depending on me, in record low temperatures that could turn us all into pupsickles broke down on the shoulder of some deserted highway exit, or behind some unstaffed fire station, scares the crap out of me.

I am not brave! I just see taking all these chances, facing my demons of cold and anxiety, as the lesser of three evils: staying where I was, living with abuse, getting rid of my precious dogs and moving on with my life (the easiest and most common choice) or... the road I chose/am now on. Can anyone imagine Shelley without dogs? Living in some little apartment with no GSD's to care for and keep her busy? Having used that same old line Steph and some of the rest of you hear on a daily basis-  He/she is a really good dog. I just can't have a dog where I'm moving to... You know. I'm sure you can find them all good homes in no time.

FAT CHANCE. Here are some pix I took this morning while feeding, walking, re-packing. Note the extension cord runniong from my room to the ceramic space heater in the van. That thing kept the temp inside just under 40F all night despite the cold outside. I couldn't do that at 5F, but it can at 18F. Yeah. I took up all the handicap spaces on one side of the hotel, but there are plenty more H/A rooms on the other side not being used.

  







Time to load up, say a little prayer that Spot is feelin' spunky enough to get a few hundred more miles today without incident, and hit the road.

SS

Opening the front door in the nude?  I say if ya got, flaunt it!  If you come by our place unannounced...well let's just say my family knows better...now!  hahahahahaha!

BTW- Emails better than PM's. I can only access this board for a little while at night/early morning where there is internet connection available for "Pigeon" the trusty laptop. As tempting as it is to answer every message,  we have a long way to go yet this week.
2221 miles, to be exact. I wish I wasn't terrified of driving in the dark in winter. (night blind) in the winter. If we had the long days of summer I could cut at least a whole day off this escapade. Sux getting old. LOL
SS

The only one who sees me nude anymore is my DOG, and even he looks the other way if he can. LOLOL
SS

 "Traveling across this big country by myself with 6 precious dog lives (most of which do NOT get along together) depending on me, in record low temperatures that could turn us all into pupsickles broke down on the shoulder of some deserted highway exit, or behind some unstaffed fire station, scares the crap out of me. 

I am not brave!"

Shelley, you are brave, a lot more courageous than most folks I know.  Being wary of traveling when conditions aren't safe isn't silly, it's using your very well-honed survival instincts.  You're a survivor, you will get through this, and so will your dogs.

May you have a safe journey in good health,

Micky

Good Luck to you Shelly!  I for one, has always taken your posts as tongue in cheek and thought that you have used humor as a tool to deal with what must seem like the undealable. 

You have shown grace and courage under difficult circumstances and I could not imagine being in your shoes and handling it as well as you have.

For those that don't want to help her, don't.  If you don't like her personal life being public don't read it.  And pray to God that when you find yourself alone and struggling people do not judge you on how public or private you were.