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by Uglydog on 11 December 2009 - 20:12
What was the best thing about the Cash for Clunkers program?
Answer:
It got 125 Million Vote- for- Obama bumper stickers off the road
What do Tiger Woods and Seals have in common?
Answer
Both get clubbed by Norwegians
Answer:
It got 125 Million Vote- for- Obama bumper stickers off the road
What do Tiger Woods and Seals have in common?
Answer
Both get clubbed by Norwegians
by Gilgarmor on 11 December 2009 - 22:12
why tiger woods is better then santa?????
cause santa have 3 Ho,Ho,Ho
n tiger wood got more...
cause santa have 3 Ho,Ho,Ho
n tiger wood got more...
by yellowrose of Texas on 12 December 2009 - 00:12
Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama go to heaven...
God addresses Al first.. ''Al, what do you believe in?''
Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election,
but that it was your will that I did not serve..
And I've come to understand that now.''
God thinks for a second and says:
"Very good. Come and sit at my left..''
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?''
Bill replies: "I believe in forgiveness.
I've sinned, but I've never held a
grudge against my fellow man,
and I hope no grudges are held against me.''
God thinks for a second and says:
"You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right.''
Then God addresses Barrack. "Barrack, what do you believe in?''
He replies: "I believe you're in my chair."
by VomMarischal on 12 December 2009 - 01:12
by VomMarischal on 12 December 2009 - 01:12
Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout
the entertainment industry for being a little self-righteous.
At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow , Scotland , he asked the
audience for total quiet. Then, in silence, he started to slowly clap his
hands,
once every few seconds.
Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the
microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the
crowd pierced the quiet . . .
"Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"
the entertainment industry for being a little self-righteous.
At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow , Scotland , he asked the
audience for total quiet. Then, in silence, he started to slowly clap his
hands,
once every few seconds.
Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the
microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the
crowd pierced the quiet . . .
"Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"
by Sunsilver on 12 December 2009 - 15:12
This isn't a joke, but it sure is funny.
My brother was lucky enough to score front row seats for a Don Williams concert. Since Don's music is family friendly, they took their 3 year old son, Ryan, along.
As Don began his big hit, "You're My Best Friend", he encouraged the audience to sing along. Ryan joined in, too, but he wasn't quite on the same page as the rest of the audience. There were 1,500 people singing "My Best Friend", and one little 3 year old singing "The Alphabet Song" at the top of his lungs.
Don noticed, too, for at one point, he turned and looked directly at Ryan, and gave him a big smile. Mom and Dad were wanting to crawl under their seats, though....
Ryan is now 25, has a little boy of his own, and hates it when his aunt tells stories like this!
My brother was lucky enough to score front row seats for a Don Williams concert. Since Don's music is family friendly, they took their 3 year old son, Ryan, along.
As Don began his big hit, "You're My Best Friend", he encouraged the audience to sing along. Ryan joined in, too, but he wasn't quite on the same page as the rest of the audience. There were 1,500 people singing "My Best Friend", and one little 3 year old singing "The Alphabet Song" at the top of his lungs.
Don noticed, too, for at one point, he turned and looked directly at Ryan, and gave him a big smile. Mom and Dad were wanting to crawl under their seats, though....
Ryan is now 25, has a little boy of his own, and hates it when his aunt tells stories like this!
by jeysalim on 12 December 2009 - 16:12
To get a dog to wink.......Priceless........
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