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by RONNIERUNCO on 17 September 2009 - 19:09
You had the face of an angel as you hobbled up the steps on the city bus last tuesday. You were carrying Dr. Seuse's "Green Eggs and Ham," so I assume that you have children, but we never got to that point in our conversation. We talked about fishing and cooking fish and the Padres.
I was wearing gray sweatpants with the legs rolled up to just below my knees; black and red, gold toed tube socks and birkenstocks with the heel straps. You said you approached me because of the "Where's the Beef?" on my t-shirt that you noticed after the fart I dropped managed to clear a visual path by forcing all of the other passengers to the windows for air.
I wish you would have believed me when I said I was, in fact, drunk. I don't know how you couldn't smell the booze...maybe it was the fart. You told me that I reminded you of an uncle, but for some reason you refused to go into that story. I don't know what stockholm syndrom is but im glad you felt our connection.
I would like to explore our chemistry further, but I dont have any way of finding you. I gave you my phone number, but I have to come clean, if you call it, you will not reach me because I dont have a phone. The truth is, I was nervous, and I didnt want you to think I couldn't afford a phone--by the way, I can't afford one. Also, the number I gave you was 14 digits, and that is 2 too many, as you probably have guessed by now.
I will ride that bus at the same time every Tuesday, I will continue to wait there for you (wake me up if im sleeping). I am looking forward to seeing you again, and showing you my time machine. By the way, be careful not to run into my evil twin, you will be able to tell its him by the mustache.
I was wearing gray sweatpants with the legs rolled up to just below my knees; black and red, gold toed tube socks and birkenstocks with the heel straps. You said you approached me because of the "Where's the Beef?" on my t-shirt that you noticed after the fart I dropped managed to clear a visual path by forcing all of the other passengers to the windows for air.
I wish you would have believed me when I said I was, in fact, drunk. I don't know how you couldn't smell the booze...maybe it was the fart. You told me that I reminded you of an uncle, but for some reason you refused to go into that story. I don't know what stockholm syndrom is but im glad you felt our connection.
I would like to explore our chemistry further, but I dont have any way of finding you. I gave you my phone number, but I have to come clean, if you call it, you will not reach me because I dont have a phone. The truth is, I was nervous, and I didnt want you to think I couldn't afford a phone--by the way, I can't afford one. Also, the number I gave you was 14 digits, and that is 2 too many, as you probably have guessed by now.
I will ride that bus at the same time every Tuesday, I will continue to wait there for you (wake me up if im sleeping). I am looking forward to seeing you again, and showing you my time machine. By the way, be careful not to run into my evil twin, you will be able to tell its him by the mustache.
by MaggieMae on 17 September 2009 - 19:09
You are C R A Z Y !!!!
by Pridhams on 17 September 2009 - 20:09
I will send you the money for the Tuesday bus fares, Ronni, if you promise me you will get that person's support hose back for me. They should be nice and ripe by now.
They were stolen from my sister while she was changing her bandages in the library where the book was also stolen.. btw, it was a cover only, the real book was "Gender Transfer and its Implications in a Modernist Society," by Ima Bendar.
Your friend should find you pretty quickly if you eat some Jerusalem artichokes while swigging your Buds. I can recommend them. Perhaps you can overpower her quickly, because that phone number you gave her was my bank account details, and now I keep getting calls from Ghana, but they deny all knowledge of the support hose.
I will wait for news by the coffee grinder at Piggly Wigglys, along with the maintenance crew, who need to talk to you about some turkey necks.
They were stolen from my sister while she was changing her bandages in the library where the book was also stolen.. btw, it was a cover only, the real book was "Gender Transfer and its Implications in a Modernist Society," by Ima Bendar.
Your friend should find you pretty quickly if you eat some Jerusalem artichokes while swigging your Buds. I can recommend them. Perhaps you can overpower her quickly, because that phone number you gave her was my bank account details, and now I keep getting calls from Ghana, but they deny all knowledge of the support hose.
I will wait for news by the coffee grinder at Piggly Wigglys, along with the maintenance crew, who need to talk to you about some turkey necks.
by beetree on 17 September 2009 - 20:09
Talk about an evil twin! There is a recent news story about a 24 year old probationary cop in CT who just quit, because he was arrested for forcing sex on his twin brothers' girlfriend. The were in bed together when she asked him to stop because she noticed his buttocks were missing the cowboy tattoo that should have been there. Up till that point, she'd had no clue he'd played the ol' switcheroo!
by Bob McKown on 17 September 2009 - 20:09
I needed that today I really did. OMG!!! I can,t stop laughing
by Bucko on 17 September 2009 - 22:09
He should have gotten a matching tattoo. I wonder if she would then have noticed his "technique" was different?
by VomRuiz on 17 September 2009 - 22:09
Ronnie,
That was so sweet! I hope you find her. It sounds like love at first sight. Don't let her get away!!
Have you thought of hiring a private investigator? I know a guy, real cheap. A couple packs of cigarettes and a 6 pack should cover the fees.
He doesn't have an actual office, anymore, some legal thing about stalking or something, it was nothing really....I may have a number for him, but it is for the pay phone behind the 7-11, and he only answers between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.
Good Luck
That was so sweet! I hope you find her. It sounds like love at first sight. Don't let her get away!!
Have you thought of hiring a private investigator? I know a guy, real cheap. A couple packs of cigarettes and a 6 pack should cover the fees.
He doesn't have an actual office, anymore, some legal thing about stalking or something, it was nothing really....I may have a number for him, but it is for the pay phone behind the 7-11, and he only answers between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.
Good Luck
by animules on 17 September 2009 - 23:09
Ronnie, if you need help with bus fare just ask here. I hope she likes KFC and Dinky.
by beetree on 18 September 2009 - 22:09
Bucko, I agree. He could have at least made an attempt with a temporary tattoo of Yosemite Sam, for example. Maybe there IS more to the story and it wasn't just ink.....?!
by RONNIERUNCO on 18 September 2009 - 23:09
I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THE KIND WISHES. I AM VERY DEPRESSED TODAY.
4 FULL DAYS UNTIL TUESDAY AND MAGGIE LIED AND HAS NOT BEEN BY PIGGLY WIGGLYS
AT ALL. SINCE VIEWING THIS VIDEO I MAY TRY TO SEEK A ROMANCE WITH THIS GIRL.
SHE CAN PLAY TUG O WAR AND KEEP US IN GATOR BOOTS AND GATOR STEAKS.
http://www.myfoxorlando.com/dpp/news/brevard_news/091309_Woman_kills_11_foot_gator
4 FULL DAYS UNTIL TUESDAY AND MAGGIE LIED AND HAS NOT BEEN BY PIGGLY WIGGLYS
AT ALL. SINCE VIEWING THIS VIDEO I MAY TRY TO SEEK A ROMANCE WITH THIS GIRL.
SHE CAN PLAY TUG O WAR AND KEEP US IN GATOR BOOTS AND GATOR STEAKS.
http://www.myfoxorlando.com/dpp/news/brevard_news/091309_Woman_kills_11_foot_gator
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