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by missbeeb on 01 April 2009 - 11:04
A plane leaves L.A. Under the control of a Jewish captain.
His co-pilot is Chinese.
It's the first time they have flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the
auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese".
"No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, ..."why not?"
"You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!"
"No, no" the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Pearl harbor ! That
Japanese, not Chinese."
"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn't matter, you're all alike!"
There is a few minutes of silence.
"I no rike Jews either!" the co-pilo t suddenly announces.
"Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain
"Jews sink Titanic."
What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the
by missbeeb on 01 April 2009 - 11:04
Captain.. "It was an iceberg!"
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg ...no mattah...all the broddy same."
It's soooooo pesky when some of the post goes AWAL... sorry!
by missbeeb on 01 April 2009 - 12:04
Normally I don't forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read it. Hope it touches you like it did me
A little boy says to his mother, " Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?" |
by venzosmom on 01 April 2009 - 12:04
by Davren on 01 April 2009 - 13:04
Little Johnny attended a horse auction withhis father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.'
by missbeeb on 01 April 2009 - 13:04
by Sunsilver on 01 April 2009 - 16:04
She said, 'I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible motorcycle wreck, and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.'
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
'Tom was unable to hold me or the children,' she went on, 'and every movement caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.'
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
'Now,' she announced in a quavering voice, 'thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.'
All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, 'I'm Tom.'
The entire congregation held its breath.
'I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.'
by Sunsilver on 01 April 2009 - 16:04
http://www.celebritysmackblog.com/2009/03/02/50th-anniversary-cougar-barbie/
by missbeeb on 01 April 2009 - 16:04
Barbie's not available but the scrotum was very funny!
by Sunsilver on 01 April 2009 - 17:04
Here's the YouTube site version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiVc7XpgfYg&feature=related
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