This is a placeholder text
Group text
by JRANSOM on 08 March 2009 - 00:03
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator
> > door..
> >
> > Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are
> > yours and contain
> > your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
> > Placing a paw
> > print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a
> > claim for it
> > becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
> > aesthetically pleasing in
> > the slightest.
> >
> > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
> > racetrack. Racing me
> > to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't
> > help because I fall
> > faster than you can run.
> >
> > I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am
> > very sorry about
> > this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch
> > to ensure your
> > comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a
> > ball when they
> > sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
> > other,
> > stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
> > that sticking
> > tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the
> > other end to
> > maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
> >
> > For the last time, there is no secret exit from the
> > bathroom! If, by some
> > miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
> > it is not
> > necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get
> > your paw under
> > the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit
> > through the same
> > door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for
> > years -
> > canine/feline attendance is not required.
> >
> > The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go
> > smell the other
> > dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
> >
> > Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the
> > following message on
> > the front door:
> >
> > TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
> > OUR PETS:
> >
> > (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't
> > want their hair on
> > your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they
> > call it
> > 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than
> > I like most people.
> > (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted
> > sons/daughters who
> > are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak
> > clearly.
> >
> > Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they
> > (1) eat less,
> > (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to
> > train, (4)
> > normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car,
> > (6) don't smoke
> > or drink, (8)
by guardiank9 on 08 March 2009 - 01:03
I love this as it was emailed to me by a friend. I had to print it out and placed it on my fridge
by Red Sable on 08 March 2009 - 01:03
Sorry, I'd take my kids over a cat anyday.
by animules on 08 March 2009 - 01:03
Sounds like my house.....
Contact information Disclaimer Privacy Statement Copyright Information Terms of Service Cookie policy ↑ Back to top