Lost my dog of "firsts" - Page 1

I had to put my big coated boy down a bit more than a week ago. He had stopped eating over the weekend (not even from my hand) but seemed ok otherwise. Took him in on Monday - did xrays, bloodwork - xrays showed fluid in his belly, he was very anemic according to the bloodwork. At that point I pretty much knew what was coming (I think knowing too much may be a bad thing sometimes...). I slept on the floor with him and told him stories of our life togther - the first time I saw him (in a blizzard), our first big trip away, and so on. Tuesday morning we went back to the vet for the ultrasound - turns out that he had hemagiosarcoma in his spleen that were bleeding and a large mass in his liver. On that clear, beautiful Tuesday morning, I gave him his wings. In the end, he went with all the class and dignity that he carried for every minute of his 8 years. I sat on the floor with him, his head in my lap, held him, told him that I loved him very much and that it was ok to go...and he went....
Many of you can relate to having your dog of "firsts" - this is THE ONE - the one who is your first AKC dog, Schtuzhund dog, CGC, and so on. This was my guy - he never ever refused to do anything that I asked...it was always "What are we doing, Mom?  That? Ok, I'm with you..."  I love my others with all my heart, but this was my very special guy.
Go and hug and love on your critters - we share such a short time with them and they bring so very much to our lives.

In memory of Erich von Fitchtenwald - Dec 30, 2001 - January 20, 2009

Fly

So sorry for your loss!!

Hugs to you. Sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for you!  I know how hard it can be.  I am sure having you with him during his final hours made all the difference to him. 

That was a wonderful tribute.  We are so lucky to have these dogs.  Remember everything he taught you.

I'm SO sorry about your loss Fly. I lost my Onyx to the same thing 6 years ago. It still hurts to remember that day.
At least you got a chance to say goodbye. He's hanging out with the rest of the fine dogs we have loved at the Bridge, waiting for you to show up, healthy and exuberant!
SS

Only 8 years old! I am so sad for you. From your post it's obvious how much he meant to you.  I know how deep the hole is in your heart.

Thanks all so much for the thoughts and the lovely words.
It's funny how I still feel him in the bed or standing in the doorway of the bedroom...I guess that's all part of it. He was the alpha boy, so the household has been disrupted a bit on top of this. The things I'm finding the hardest is putting his stuff up - taking down his crate sent me into another crying fit, moving his things off the pegboard I use for everyone's leashes, collars, and whatnot, even the routine of feeding everyone.  It's kind of amazing how much he was embedded in my life...

Flygirl:
I am so sorry for your loss.  You story brought tears to  my eyes.  You could have been describing my first GSD - also a long coat - Reno.  I lost her 2 years ago next month just shy of her 14th birthday and I still miss her.  It is strange, I still cry more over losing Reno than I do about any of the people I have lost in my life.  One mention of her and the tears start.

May your memories of your wonderful boy bring you comfort soon.

Cheryl