Because We Need a Laugh... - Page 1

I just got the following e-mail from my stepson's wife:

WALKING THE DOG

A woman was flying from  Seattle  to  San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to  Sacramento  along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. 

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight. 

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, 'Kathy, we are in  Sacramento  for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?' The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.' 

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story... Have a great day and remember...

 


...THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

So funny, I'd do the same thing and get the heck out of there.

 Ole & Lena's Honeymoon

Ole, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick
kick from a cow right in the crotch.  Writhing in agony, he falls to the
ground.  As soon as he could manage, he took
himself to the doctor.

He said "How bad is it Doc? . . . I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and
my finance, Lena, is still a virgin - in every vay".

The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it
heal and keep it straight.  It should be okay next week."

He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint,
and taped it all together . Quite an impressive work of art.

Ole mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their
honeymoon to Duluth.

That night in the motel room, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her
beautiful, untouched breasts. She said, "You're the first vun.  No vun
has EVER seen deez."

Ole immediately drops his pants and replies, "Look at
dis......................still in da CRATE!"

sunsilver, great story but not true

www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/pilotdog.asp

A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
"What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer.
"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."
"Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer.
So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches
masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his
wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
"What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer.
"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."
"Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer.
So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches
masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his
wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

Good one RatPack King
That cracked me up
Steve