OT-political correctness - Page 1

my brother just sent this list of definitions to me. they're kind of funny:

due to the climate of politcal correctness now pervading America, kentuckians, tennesseans and west virginians will no longer be referred to as "hillbillies". you must now refer to them as applachian-americans.

furthermore - how to speak about women and be politically correct:

1. she is not a "babe" or a "chick". she is a "breasted american".

2. she is not "easy". she is "horizontally accessible".

3. she is not a "dumb blonde". she is a "light-haired detour off the information superhighway".

4. she has not "been around". she is a "previously enjoyed companion".

5. she does not "nag" you. she becomes "verbally repetitive".

6. she is not a "two-bit hooker". she is a "low-cost provider".

next is the men 

how to speak about men and be politically correct:

1. he does not have a "beer belly". he has developed a "liquid grain storage facility"

2. he is not a "bad dancer". he is "overly caucasian".

3. he does not "get lost all the time". he "investigates alternative destinations".

4. he is not "balding". he is in "follicle regression".

5. he does not act like a "total ass". he develops a case of "rectal-cranial inversion".

6. it's not his "crack" you see hanging out of his pants - it's "rear cleavage".

The Harley-Davidson Facts
 The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson died and
went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and
your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out
with anyone you want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, 'I want to hang out
with God.'
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who
invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?'  
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'
God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's
pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you
the inventor of woman?' 
God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major
design flaws in your invention!  
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension 
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.  
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!"
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God,  'hold on.'
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited
for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur,
'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.







 


 









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loved it! my dad (& mom) ride a harley and with 5 kids, 5 grandkids and 7 greatgrandkids will celebrate their 59th wedding anniversary on christmas eve! i'll share that one with them. lol (daddy always said that all he had to do was look at mom and she turned up pregnant. we suspected there was more to the story than that).

Congratulations to them!  I guess they loved to ride (harleys-that is...) & that makes for a long & happy life! jh