To all of my Database friends! OT for the Holidays - Page 1

To All My Democrat Friends: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling anmedically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. To My Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

AHAHAHAHAHA!!! lol,lol

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, too!!!

4pack - tooooooo funnnnnny! LOL Merry Christmas to you too and a blessed and joyful New Year!

Thanks, that was just great!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO

Thanks 4pack - that was great :D Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year to you too!!! ~Cate

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Democrats & Republicans are 2 Cheeks of the Same Ass..2 sides of the same coin. Anyway, Marry ChristMass & Happy Holidays to all on the board.

> Deer Santa, > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. > Yer Friend, Bill y > > Dear Bill y, > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send > you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your > older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa > > ***************************************************** > Dear Santa, > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is > peace and joy in the world for everybody! > Love, Sarah > > Dear Sarah, > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa > > **************************************************** > Dear Santa, > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for mymommy > and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. > Love, > Teddy > > Dear Teddy, > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a > hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid > mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me > send you some Legos instead... Santa > > **************************************************** > Dear Santa, > I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum > kit, a pony and a tuba. > Love, Francis > > Dear Francis, > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set youup > with a Barbie. > Santa > > **************************************************** > Dear Santa, > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your > reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan > > Dear Susan, > Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when > riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of > Scotch. Santa > **************************************************** > Dear Santa, > What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? > Your friend, Thomas > > Dear Thomas, > All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most > of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking > myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing > money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. > Santa > **************************************************** > Dear Santa, > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, > like in the song? > Love, Jessica > > Dear Jessica, > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping > your house. Santa > > **************************************************** > Dear Santa, > I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, > PLEASEcould I have one? > Love, Timmy > > Dear Timmy, > That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't > work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa > > **************************************************** > Dearest Santa, > We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home? Love, > Marky > > Dear Mark, > First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass > whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a > low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the > boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa

This year, one of our friends sent out little tiny xmas cards that said: Money's Short, Times Are Hard, Here's your F'ing Christmas Card Happy Holidays!