A plea for reason - please stop the public flame wars - Page 1

Folks,

Typically the posts on this board are productive and engaging discussions about common topics such as health issues, training questions, and the like.  However, occasionally we get a thread that degenerates into juvenile rants, petty insults, and general mud slinging.  These flame wars should not be carried out on a public forum because this creates a horrible first impression for newcomers who are new to the board or new to the breed. 

If you have a gripe with a breeder or importer, why not just post “I’ve had a bad experience with XYZ Kennel.  Contact me privately for details.”  Even a post such as “I’ve heard bad things about XYZ Kennel.  Call me or email me.” is better than airing out the dirty laundry in public.

I’ve personally had bad experiences with top breeders and importers myself, and it is frustrating to be on the receiving end of a raw deal.  But no matter how angry I might feel, I can only tell my side of the story.  There are always three sides to every story:  his side, her side, and the truth (which may reside somewhere in between, or in fact nowhere close to either!). 

If you find yourself locked in a flame war, please take it offline, and when you find yourself deadlocked in argument, consider taking the high road and bowing out.  I have recently been engaged in a flame war myself with a guy about a post I made on another web board.  We kept it private, but the back-and-forth volleys were just going nowhere.  I recognized that this guy had already decided I was a serious be-otch, and no matter what I said, he was right and I was wrong. 

There are some people that just HAVE to win an argument, no matter what, and they MUST get in the last word.  So, I took the the high road and LET him win.  I withdrew the original post, and ignored his final jab.

Please excuse the wordiness of this post, but I hope that people will consider these points, and avoid the most egregious acts of public posting:  vulgarity, petty insults, unproductive public flaming.

Yvette

P.S. In the end, I came out on top anyway.  I printed out the transcripts of my flame war, and read them aloud to my dinner guests Friday night (we were all rolling with laughter), and then at training Saturday with my mentor to critique my responses.  I increased my stock in the eyes of my peers for having the class to allow the guy to win.  Food for thought.

What a crock, SchHBabe. For someone who likes confrontation as much as you to be spewing this self-righteous advice is, quite frankly, a bit absurd. (LOL). Let's also review your suggestion-----"If you have a gripe with a breeder or importer, why not just post "I've had a bad experience with xyz kennel.  Contact me privately for details." "-----is, by no means, 'taking the high road'. That particular action can be just as detrimental to the breeder as the complainer having had relayed the negative experience on this board-------perhaps, even MORE so.  The reader now thinks the WORST, and the problem could be something as inconsequential as the complainer finding fault with a small white spot on the puppy's chest.

Taking the high road should be the decision of the attacked, and not subject to anyone's scrutiny on decorum.  How they proceed with their retaliation will be judged by all of us---that's inevitable.  But....my judgment will always be based primarily on who initiated the squabble---even when vulgarity is unwisely present. Some people can see through all the smokescreens and find the true offenders.  Also, food for thought.  (I do like you SchHBabe....You're amusing, enthusiastic and can be completely ridiculous---what next?)

this is a great site for reference.  the BS and nasty vindictive paranoid obessions that certain people and their alter egos have is demeaning to the site, the breed and the sport.  Ms Seaman for example is a respected professional who has done nothing offensive anywhere, yet some of the most rude offensive things ever seen here were posted by an 'alias' over the weekend.   There are some sick people who are very active here and seem to have a following in spite of it.  Hard to understand.

I've read this board for years.  I rarely post.  Maybe when the new server goes up the owner can put a stop to the people who are offenders since they are not respsonible enough adults to behave like they should.  Some need to be taken and shaken and told to grow up.  Luckily, it is pretty obvious who is in need of a shrink by this time 

What really makes me mad is that the childish BS and nonsense jeprodizes this site. 

 The site is  about THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOG.  Not BS.  Not rude vulgar trash mouth attacks.  Not harassment and vendettas.  The board could be as great a resource as the rest of the place if the golden rule was followed.  

Jim Thomas aka JR Thomas

Hey I think I remember you, LMH.   If I recall from your previous posts you took exception to just about everything I wrote.  But that's OK.  I've got thick skin. 

 So, let's try to make something constructive out of this...

Your point about me enjoying a lively debate is spot on.  I'm an engineer by profession and I diassociate my emotions from the topic of debate.   I think there's a lot of benefit from expressing opinions and challenging assumptions and propositions.  I enjoy the banter, whether it's debating the merits of a potential stud, or challenging a novel training techique.

 What is NOT cool, however, is some of the nasty behavior that occasionally crops up on this board.  For that I make no apology - I think it's very poor form to engage in an all out flame war in public.

For example, there are a small handful of posters who can't make a single post that isn't peppered with obscenities.  Or, you've got one guy flat out saying "you stupid b****" to someone, or another jerk questioning a woman's sexual orientation.  Oy vey!  That's crossing the line, and that's the stuff I wish wouldn't get posted.

That's the point I was trying to communicate, and I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on the matter.

Yvette

I have to agree with the thread sentiment but then in the same breath think LMH is so right in her observation of you Yvette.

I don't know you but read a few boards and you are often the the starter of such threads, so I'm thinking wtf???

In fact I'm fairly sure it was you (might be wrong) that had yet another warning just days ago on the Leerburg site for such behaviour. The next time you step out of line you are banned Ed said.

Nowt as strange as folk.

I saw that thread on Leerburg & I thought it was very unfair for Ed to have said that.  She only posted what was a very lively topic of conversation on other boards.  We all know he can get a little grumpy sometimes!

People do get a little too personal in their attacks sometimes.  I think it's the nature of the computer beast.  Some people develop quite a nasty reputation based on writing things below the belt.   Of those, we must just consider the source & pass the popcorn.

Thanks Yvette, good to see that you've put this behind you, are taking the high road, and are "back to training."  Let it go. 

New topic . . . Why is it that people who are right, and are strong in that conviction, are negatively portrayed as people who HAVE to be right and have to have the LAST word?

LHM/Working Dogs . . . you are exactly right. 

Jim

I always let them win.