Share a chuckle - Page 6

btw, lol, I am still single boy.....
Shtal.

First, I totally admire both Clinton and Hillary ...... but I still think this is very funny. It is obviously in the context of HC's fall and concussion.

 

Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? What tips can you give to me?" "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around are really intelligent?" The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?" Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?" The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good," said the Queen. Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one. " He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer Finally, Biden ran into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, "Sarah, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Sarah Palin answered right back, "That's easy, it's me!" Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Sarah Palin!" Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them; they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. 

Murphy said “Hang on, I have an idea.” 

He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. 


Shamus said “Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money at all!”

Murphy replied, “Don't worry - just follow me.”


He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky. 

Shamus said “Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!”

Murphy replied, with a smile. “Don't worry; I have a plan, Cheers!”

They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, “OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.”

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. 

They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. 

At the tenth pub Shamus said “Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killing me!” 

Murphy said, “How do you think I feel? I can't even remember which pub I lost the sausage in.”

ROTFL!

Fuh realz....posted on Craigslist....

Please help, I have to re-home my 2 precious chickens. They are Rhode Island Reds, very sweet. They are indoor only. Litter box trained, infact, they use the box together with my cat. Their only bad habit is they keep eating my cats poop. Since they are laying, I can't eat their eggs when I know they are eating my cats poop!!!
Honestly, they have a few more bad habits. I may as well tell you up front, cause if you take them you are going to find out anyhow. They go into the shower and eat stuff from the drain after I shower. What are they eating? My body bugs??? Yuck! They also sleep at the foot of my bed at night, and sometimes drop an egg that rolls off the bed and splats all over the floor. So extra clean up is needed for the little b@#%*rds. I live in an apartment, that's why they are indoors only. They are becoming a real pain in my a@%, but I still love the little freaks. They eat cat food and cornflakes, but they're favorite snack at night when they are watching tv is a hard boiled egg. They also love radio. They're favorite station is Art Bill at night. They love paranomal and ufo talk. They also love country music, Zak Brown "Chicken Fried". My husband caught them doing the dooseedoo in the kitchen. That's sick, like righ? And they like red solo cup for some reason. Small rehoming fee of $1.00 each. By the way, their names are Bonnet and Bushy. Please adopt them, thank you.