I fell off the face of the earth - Page 3

OK, fine. You're Mother Teresa with a service dog. Resume walking on water.

oh wow...... Im off to training... have fun if you can
 

Marjorie, & now Hexe, I am shaking & crying that you are both here & both ok....ok maybe not ok......I'm just grateful you both still ARE....

"...don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone..."   Joni Mitchell

Thank goodness, thank goodness! My friends!

jackie harris

Hey Jackie.......They paved paradise...Put up a parking lot.

That song just started running through my head as I was reading Hexes' post; gosh, I'm sorry, I just worry about folks so....

jh

ps...ooooo bapbapbapbap! Ooooo bapbapbapbap!

http://youtu.be/94bdMSCdw20

Awww- I wanted to reach through the screen and just hug Boomer, Howlk9. What a sweet precious boy...Those greying muzzles are just so kissable...

Yes, Abby, it is very much like reality being altered. The world just somehow looks different...and yes, Jackie certainly is right...every now and then, the scars which you thought were healing, or healed, just burst and the flood gates open. I take one step at a time, now, and proceed with caution. If I feel like I am not ready, I will retreat.. I almost retreated last night when I started to post, but I was wondering about you, about Jackie, about Char, and so many of my other buddies, here, so I decided to dangle the toes into the proverbial water..

Hexe, your words are full of wisdom- it is so true that if you dont immerse yourself, you can never rise above the pain. At first I cried, at first I tried to talk but the talk was just too painful. It was easier to just not deal with it, so I internalized a lot. It was easier to lay in bed and try not to think, but again, upon awakening , in that *semi-conscious* state of being half asleep/half awake, that unsettled *something is wrong* feeling, without knowing what it actually was, would just wash over me and then reality would hit like a baseball bat in the head. I think one has to hit rock bottom to even begin to think about or deal with how to climb out of the pit.

Going to Florida over the winter was a real turning point for me. It got me out of the house, the stars shone so brightly in the sky at night, there, that I felt that Missie T was looking down on me, with Joss and Jack Flash by her side. Every night, now, I go outside, look up at the stars and say good night to her, Joss and Jack Flash. Casey James came into his own, in Florida, and he really lightened up - maybe because I was lightening up, and laughter started to return to my life..Its also hard not to laugh at a GSD who walks around with a toy rubber fish in his mouth all day.

To sum it up- only to have the strength of Jackie...

. 

Hexe

You got to the heart of it, as you always do.. I have seen each one dealing with such hard loss and pain retreat from this board and the world for a while. Char, Marjorie, Me, Jackie, Hexe and I am sure many others I don't know of. Then gradually a little at a time dip back into the world. It's a frightening journey, because you can't see a day when things will ever be OK again. But they will be and must be...but Lord it's hard. My heart goes out to everyone that is in such pain.

I'm not sure how to describe the way some dogs leave marks on our lives. We love all our dogs, but there are some that are just.....well.... special in a way I can't describe.  I've found that most times they are the special needs dogs. After they pass on we still feel their presence and may even see them sometimes. We hesitate to admit that to many of our non-dog friends and family members. They might like dogs, but they could never understand missing or seeing or hearing a dog that is no longer alive. I pity them.

I just remembered something I read many decades ago. I believe it was in the Quarterly and they were interviewing an old time breeder, a steward of the breed. I don't remember the question but the answer went something like this -

When I die, they will cut me open and find that my heart looks like an old china plate that has been used all it's life with love and affection but is now cracked and crackled with fine lines running across the surface. Each line is a dog that was in my life, no matter for how long, that I loved and lost.