How Shelley Translates Online GSD Ads - Page 3

This is the most perfectly written and truthful post of the YEAR,  paws down!    Thanks Shelley

 This is the most hilarious and well presented thread I have had the pleasure to read during my two weeks of being a member of this place. I am busting a gut reading this.
  I sure could have used this awakening BEFORE I bought my over priced, poorly breed, turning ugly, probable health care nightmare in waiting, breed inferior, not so bright, nitwit of a junk yard dog.   I am just about convinced that instead of becoming involved in spending my hard earned money on a breed represented by so many snake oil salesmen, I should have saved my money and simply bought a goldfish.   While very, very humorous, this thread may teach some important lessons to the poor fools that are thinking of buying a GSD.   For instance, regardless of how strong ones passion about this breed may have become, buying any GSD is a bad bet, in part, due to the corrupted sales promotional system that is apparently based on deception and greed. It seems for some of us slower folks, it takes many weeks for it to sink in, that much of this..... is a game of smoke and mirrors.   While things done in the heart can be difficult to heal, the human spirit can generally endure. I suppose that the greatest tragedy resulting from this sham is not the brutality of the loss of a man or family's dream, it's not even the loss of his treasure----no, it is the little ones that suffer the worst, it is they that will not understand, it is the childlike creatures on four legs that will bear the brunt of all of this. A shame really, all they wanted was to be loved, love a human... and play.    Anyway, I sincerely appreciate the many lessons I have learned in this process, perhaps others will learn before they become victims of such a far reaching and hurtful farce.   Merry Christmas......   Gator   

Great post Shelly !

18 mos. old. Good looking dog, great with kids, loves to play, hips and elbows fine, great "Family Dog."  My translation- (A) Likes to bark at strangers but probably won't even look at a sleeve. (B) his/her career in Germany is over and we're getting rid of him to make time and space for the next one.

Include in there "not well socialized so he's a little kennel shy but if adopted to the right person who can fix that with socialization"....when the problem is really poor genetic character.   

Well...I learned...

Terri

Ya'll really picked up the bit on this one in fine form.  Hell, I ought to know how to translate those ads... I wrote enough of them in my time. LOL  I HAD to get creative in the 90's. (Still in boot camp back then). Half the time when I went to the airport to pick up a dog some "helpful" German sent me to sell to "make a name for myself" the dog wasn't worth the crate it was shipped in. "Slightly long hair" translated to the closest thing to a wooly mammoth I'd ever seen. The exporter must have forgotten to mention all those missing teeth and the ear that didn't quite stand at age 3. I gave awa y lot of dogs, but eventually learned who I could trust on the other side of the pond to send me good dogs. (+/- $100,000 later that is...) Some of the senders were some very big names, too.

One of the dogs sent to me as a "super K9 prospect" (a Tony Weinerau son) was so wacked out all I could do was "donate" him away to a really tough old veteran K9 cop... with a 3 page Agreement to Hold Harmless... AFTER he nailed the trainer for Sacramento Sheriff's Dept. just for standing in the yard with too dominant a posture.  (They tried to sue me for his hospital bill) I got along fine with the dog, but I don't NEED a wacked-out K9 around the old homestead. That old cop ended up with a lot of good busts in Glenn County with that wack-job dog, BTW. But the "bonding process" required a few trips to the local ER, a long rope and a strong tree-branch before dog and handler were on the same page. I heard they both retired in reasonably good health, friends to the end. (I DOG and IMPORTER got lucky)

Yes the dog has full calm grigs and you will see them on every correction you give or It will take you 7  commands  a tranquilizer gun and a rosary to get him to out  My coffee went all over the desk reading that thank you.

SS

Somebody please define for me the term "World Class German Shepherd Puppies."

Yeah, I know- I'm the one who coined that term in one of my (2-3 page) ads in USA magazine in the 90's, but I am still not sure what it means. LOLOLOLOL  Must've been a catchy term because I see it everywhere nowadays, from Dog Fancy to the hand-scribbled flier for "AKC- registerable" (???) GSD puppies on the bulletin board at my feed store. Guess I should have copyrighted it when I first dreamed it up, eh? I'd be sitting pretty these days. Ha ha ha  I also see various versions of a logo I created for Hundewerks (and was given the rights to in court) on Team Apparel at Sieger Shows... But that's another story.

Auntie Shelley   -poor but honest

world class puppies + breeder once sold a dog to a person in Canada (they live in detroit) so they sent dogs all over the world or they will not sell their dogs to beings from other planets

It will take you 7  commands  a tranquilizer gun and a rosary to get him to out

OMG Habanaro

I can't stop laughing LOL...I am sending this to a cop I know who had that problem with his MAL- I know he will identify LOL

I am  fairly new and when I want excellent information on anything GSD related-   and/or just  a great board with a lot of good sense -and sense of humor -I come here and read and learn and LMAO!

Thanks

Karina

It will take you 7  commands  a tranquilizer gun and a rosary to get him to out

OMG Habanaro

I can't stop laughing LOL...I am sending this to a cop I know who had that problem with his MAL- I know he will identify LOL

I am  fairly new and when I want excellent information on anything GSD related-   and/or just  a great board with a lot of good sense -and sense of humor -I come here and read and learn and LMAO!

Thanks

Karina

*GASP!!!!* I found one too good to pass up!

4 YEARS OLD MALE OUT OF  GREAT LINEBREEDING ON FAMOUS PRODUCERS!
Four year old male that can't do anything and likely can't produce!

VA TITLED WITH THE BEST PROGENY GROUP!
But not on his own!

OWER THE 10 WINNS ON DIFFRENT SHOWS BY SV GERMAN JUDGES!
No one else was there or the other competition just sucked that much!!!

SCHH 2, HD FAST NORMAL, ED NORMAL, KKL1, DNA
No nerve for the 3!  Hips are barely passible elbows are "ok" judge is blind!

EXELLENT CARACTER AND BITEWORK
For an idiot that doesn't know any better and thinks a 1/2 grip is just fine!

TRAMENDES MUVMENT!
Great rear drive to make up for no front!

HIGH PRICE!
Because I want to screw you over!

ONLY FOR SERIOUS PEOPLES WITH FULL NAME AND ADRESSE!
So I can screw you over efficiently and with little effort!