How do you treat a 13 year old..... - Page 2

There is no set rule for teenager's, it's your punishment for the fun you had making them.

It's revenge for what you did to your parent's.    It's your trial by fire...LOL.

Try listening more than speaking.  Let the little thing's slide.  Be a good role model and tell the truth if your asked those tough question's.  Make them earn the spending money they are going to want.

The only control you will have is money, transportation, and the car key's when that time come's.

Try to remember what it felt like to be thirteen yourself, but don't let that scare you, their time is not the same as your's was.

Be firm but also be fair.   They are turning into something new in their eye's, their ideas, not your's.  Support but do not indulge.   Be prepared for stress, your's and their's.

Use your instinct's, don't trust book's or expert's.   Every teenager is different and your going to have to be ready to improvise on the run.

They will worry you and drive you crazy, but in the end most of them turn out alright.   This is going to take the better part of the next ten year's so get comfortable and set your pace....LOL

Good luck !!!!

P.S.  Keep track of who their friends are and where they are going.  Their peer's have a lot of influence on them.

Brent, I could not have said more or better. All true. Ulli, hang in there-it will probably improve in five (5) to seven (7) years!

Regards,

Bob-O

I had 2 girls, good kids. My oldest put me thru the ringer twice. I have never been so scared in my life. I kept them very busy in sports and kept them from working alot so they did not have money that I did not supply. Once they get wheels and a taste of thier own money, you have lost the battle..They are very selfish at this age. I use to be acused of being to strict in punishment. But I started this game when they were little, many days I wish I had not. Called it "secret time", they could tell me anything and no punishment, only we would talk about it. However, if they got caught before fessed up, punishment was VERY sever. they both got caught once. Grounded a semester missed school dances and parents thought I was nuts. They did not get they had a chance to get off scott free. When they were little I leaned, they would soak the large bath towels in the tub and hang them of the rotating fan on ceiling. I could see all of the weight come crashing down and cutting their heads off. When they were older, I heard about the drinking at a party, or went to the beach late at night with friends.To funny the 21 year old came home from college running in house screaming "secret time" and told me she went to Mexico with friends. The bigest thing I learned in raising mine, is I had to be parent first, in the teens no such thing as their freind. I think it is the hardest thing to do, they wear you down, you get tired of the fight. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and stay consistant. With a partner in the house that is ill, very hard, they do not understand it, resent it and why me,  I watched this with a relative. That house went into total surival mode, father had cancer and Mother had all she could do to take care of him and the house. Kids could not warp their minds around father bing ill and spun out of control. She was not strong enough to come control the heathens. Very sad, understandable, still sad, they messed up in school and lost some wonderful oportunties and now that they are older and begining to grow up, to late unless they go back and start over what they skipped.

So if the "know's it all" is out of control, real him in and just to darn bad. Just as with the dogs, you earn respect, freedom, money. If you do not want to be a part of this house and pitch in, get him a tent and put it in the yard. fight as hard as you can. This BS about trying to understand them and be thier friend, wait until they are 30. Mine hated me and feel I was out of control when I told them if caught drinking and driving, I would saw car in 1/2 I paid cash so I could do it. They thought I was nuts enough to do it. But they could call me, and I would pick up them and friends, and deliver home, nothing said.

One now has grduated with Masters degree and has returned home to work with me in the business. the other is a Sr in college. They know right from wrong and have an education, and have never been arrested. I am done!!!

Have you ever realized that children are like dogs-loyal and affectionate, but teenagers are like cats... ?

It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. And yet it still puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting and bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a cat.

When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor.

Instead of dogging your doorsteps, it disappears.You won't see it again until it gets hungry. Then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving.

When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong. It seems so antisocial, so distant.It won't go on family outings.

Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong.

Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.
Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result.

Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, with open arms, the more it moves away.Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you should learn to behave like a cat owner.

Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

And just remember...

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."

Then you'll realize your cat is now a dog again!

Jeeze Louise, that describes Autumn.  She's only 12, but she's already a teenager and a cat for sure.  She was such a cute puppy too!  So, can I just lock her up in a kennel with her homework and threaten her with a sprayer bottle of water if she doesn't behave?

Veronica

Ah so I'm NOT alone! Thank you God. This past month I have wanted to run over my cat more than twice. At least she is an angel at school and saves the brunt of it all for me.

~Worlds Worst Mom

Two moons, now that is punishment !!!

I love the cat story, thank you very much. And 4 pack, you are not alone.......... it sure feels good to know that one is not alone !! AK - to put her in a kennel is a good idear, but aparently she turned into a cat - no chance of kenneling her !

Bob, you scare me - 5-7 years more of this ??? Geee, how will I survive this ?

Now I understand my Mum, she said the good part of having a grandkid is, you can call your son or daughter anytime to come by & pick up the Monster !!

The best to all of you & stand your grounds !!   Ulli

Hi Ulli,

In the US, when parents have problems with their teenagers, most just buy them a cell phone, an I-Pod, expensive sneakers, give them a credit card, and promise them a car for their 16th birthday .

IMO grounding a teenager is worse punishment for the parents than the kid!!

Should have stuck to dogs... really! 

I hope you considered all of this before mating?