Divorce - Page 7

Shelley, I'm so sorry about the loss of Portia's baby, heartfelt condolences. 

I am also in the midst of a divorce and know how difficult it can be. X2b's choice of dog was Border Terrier, we had 2.  My choice, of course, is GSD.  After thinking we had finally settled down after the kids were grown and gone, had a large house and yard, I was back to my love and got my coated boy, Link.  Well, he didn't make 2 years and broke my heart in two.  Got Drake on my own, surprising the husband but he was not opposed.  After 9 months, HE decided to get another GSD, against my wishes and advice.  I thought we should work Drake and later add another.  He didn't listen, got what he wanted, disagreed on discipline, health issues, etc.  Keep in mind, all 4 dogs were registered to me because I'm the one who always sent the paperwork.  He was great as far as taking physical care of the dogs in that he groomed, walked, played with all of them, including Drake.  But, he also let the puppy bond to Drake instead of us, despite my strong objection, never agreed on training, discipline, etc. (he's one who thinks dogs are people with fur and treats them as equals, don't have to elaborate on what problems arise!).  Talk about out of control x 10!  He never even learned how to control the terriers, and they were under 20 lbs.!   When I left, I wanted and took Drake only.  I could have been nasty and taken all 4, but knew it was not best for them.  Even though the terriers were not my choice, and not really my dogs, I did live with and love them.  I miss them terribly and the male has had health issues since and I'm sure, due to the split.  Ironically, the second GSD  and the issues involved were the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.  It was a fight over the dog that took us over the edge and after 35 years, kaput!  But I have my boy, life IS starting to get a bit easier and I'm finding the joys of living alone, finally.  I just have to get back to training and title my boy so we can really move on, together.  Do I miss the others?  YES!  I basically mourn because I've lost them but would do the same again and have no regrets.  I think I did what was best for all of the dogs and am happy with the choice I made.  BTW, he did want to keep Drake too...NOT.

I am so glad you got to take your boy Drake. As for myself, I didn't give the asshole a choice- I loaded up my dogs and drove 900 miles to WI, knowing full well anyone who showed up at Steve and Connie's for one of my dogs was going to leave empty handed, if not in a bag with a zipper down the front. If my dogs were mixed up in a big kennel with 10-15 other GSD's, I don't think the x2b could pick them out of the crowd. I'm sure he doesn't remember their registered names. Too bad he still has all my records and files to remind him.

In most states, however, anything aquired during the course of the marriage is considered marital/community property, including dogs. If you can't agree on who gets what, the court will do it for you.  :-(

SS

I got a stupid chain email (chain is the stupid part), which I usually delete instantly, but liked the message. For some of us, especially after more than 3 and a half decades of struggling in a relationship, then feeling the sting of defeat and loss, it takes a while to come to some realizations. This not only put it in perspective, but words. Of course, I've eliminated the chain part, but thought some may enjoy the message and it applies to well to the topic!

There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters
Who never did
Who won't anymore...
Who always will
So, don't worry about those from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.

EXCELLENT! 
There's also something to be said for the Geographic Cure:
Distance = Time = Healing

Works for me!
SS

Fortunately my former husband had several valuable antique cars,  so I got to keep my dogs and my house,

I seem to lose a house with every husband. This makes two in a row. First time I ever lost everything IN the home though.
Funny thing is, now that I am back in the West I have this very positive feeling that I shall have another home of my own in the not-too-distant future. Don't know why that is, but...?
I also felt like I lost a week or so of age for every mile I crossed this side of the Continental Divide, like going back and forward in time, at the same time.
That doesn't make any sense, now does it?
Guess ya had ta be there. LOL
SS

Then again, I worked 5 dogs in protection, one right after the other, yesterday, never took a deep breath.
Maybe there's something to it after all!

I say stick with the dogs.They are much more loyal and love unconditionaly. They will never take anything away from you....well mine does like to steal my socks or cloths and sometimes my snotty tissue.lol In all do what is best for you and stay strong..As my mom says "this to shall pass".I hope to have my own house so I can have as many dogs as I want and i don't have an idiot landlord that is lazy and doesn't take care of things that break down.One day....hope soon.

Noodle and Jed both have a thing for socks and my poor old, beat up, "when-are-you-gonna-get-rid-of-that" HAT!
BTW- Noodle-girl got "The Star" for best (of my dogs, that day) performance in protection yesterday.
Pretty darned good for a tail-chewing nerved-out show dog that some pompous woman back East who never saw her work doesn't think is breed worthy. Our good fortune that several judges and Koermeisters who HAVE seen her, in the ring and on ther training field...uh.. disagree.
Makes a good case for testing the knowledge of our breed wardens before handing out the privlege and stature the postition so strongly suggests.

I am very glad I didn't sell her for peanuts a few weeks ago just to make my life and the incredible journey a little easier.

SS
-Its not just another show dog when its MY show dog!

Noodle went SG in the young dog/youth classes at both the 08 NASS and the 08 Canadian Sieger Show
(the beautiful tail is growing back now)

She's beautiful Shelley.Love that face....so dark!!  Some people I tell ya...they just don't know what they got.Then again they don't deserve it if they are willing to give it up so easily for something so little. Noodle is very lucky to have you.
~L~

It is the NEW  attitude:

FORWARD POSITIONING AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!!!

YR