Tough day with Dad today - Page 1

He's fine, for now, but something happened today...

He's got over 70% blockage in his carotid artery and plaque is scaling off.  Surgery is the only option at this point and the risk of stroke is high during the procedure.  Without it, the risk of stroke is even higher, so I took him for his preliminary, pre-op tests today.  He had the usual, EKG, bloodwork, etc., but as we were leaving, they asked about making an appointment for a stress test before the surgery.  He stopped, he looked at me and he got a tear in his eye.  He then told the nurse that he will not have a stress test and he was adamant.  His sister died on a treadmill, in a hospital, during a stress test :(  When I saw the look on his face, it just broke my heart and I tried to reassure him.  I told him that she was having heart issues long before the test, that she was living on Nitro tablets and she waited too long.  He argued that I was wrong, he looked like a lost little boy and I didn't know what to say.  He has to have the stress test or they won't do the surgery.  The nurse told him they won't make him walk on the treadmill, it's chemically induced now and he reluctantly agreed after much discussion.  On the way home, he always, always, always wants to stop at a hot dog shop nearby and as we passed, he said he wasn't hungry.  When we got home, he sat quietly by himself and didn't want lunch hours later.  He's terrified and there's nothing I can do about it, except be there and reassure him that it'll be fine, when I'm not sure it will be.  I love you Dad...

I am sorry Travels, I wish I had magic words that would fix everything. I lost both my parents fairly early. My dad suffered a long illness that was compounded by cancer at the end.
Anyways, enough about me, I wish you both nothing but the best and my thoughts will be with you guys moving forward, please keep us posted and you can always PM me if you would like to talk in private.

Thank you :)

Travels, I feel sorry for you, but your Dad has to feel comfortable - that´s more important than any medical health. It´s his life, and it´s his decision, just show him that you love him, no matter how he decides. But I´m sure you will do so

Will second Admin & Susie in their posts.  Try to stay upbeat.  Thinking about you.

My thoughts and prayers r with u both. Your Dad is lucky 2 have u and u him. Remember 2 take care of yourself also. I found with my mom that some of the smallest moments such as giving her a foot rub are often the most special. Just being there is a great gift for both of you. Blessings.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts, it's appreciated.  It was a just a sad day for me, when I watched his mortality register on his face, in clear print.  I'll let you all know how it goes with the test and the subsequent surgery.