Absolutely the strangest day of my life, have to share - Page 1

I had to wait until today to write this, it played itself out all the way to the end and I was too tired to type at that point.  None of the things I'll relay are strange in themselves, many strange things happen to me, but it's expected in my line of work in the neighborhoods I serve.  But just sit back and take this in, all happening in ONE DAY.

Part 1

11-21-14

3:20 a.m.  I waken, on the couch and as soon as I open my eyes, realize I had fallen asleep and hadn't taken my blood pressure meds, a must.  I go to the kitchen, take my pills with some juice, go back to the livingroom to wake up and orient myself, figuring out how long I had been asleep and assuming I was up for the day.  I went upstairs to use the bathroom and the hall light was burned out.  The light in my bathroom has a bad wire, so I capped it and have no light in there, so I use the hall light and leave the door open.  If someone is over, I light an oil lamp and candles, it's a small bathroom.  So anyway, I had to pee in the dark,  I went back downstairs and decided I could probably fall back asleep, the BP pills were starting to kick in and they make me tired.  Fell back asleep and didn't wake until

7:00.  The morning went as usual, until I arrived at work at

8:50 a.m.  The secretary was there, the Borough Manager usually gets there between 9:15 and 9:30, so we chat for a while before our day begins.  Then, at

8:55, 5 minutes before we open, mind you, a pleasant looking 70ish woman comes through the door.  She was short (not nearly as short as I am, but normal short), plump and had a smile on her face.  The Secretary greeted her and asked what her business was.  She asked about "toxicology screening" and the secretary explained that she needed to speak to the clinc, which uses a couple of rooms in the Borough Building on the weekends, we couldn't help her. 

She turned to leave, then changed her mind and the conversation went as follows...

Lady: Will they take me if I don't live in this Borough?  I live across the river.

::The secretary is looking annoyed::

Me: Yes, the only criteria is that you don't have insurance.

Lady: What if you have insurance that doesn't pay?

Me: That's something you'd have to ask the clinic, you'll have to come back when they're here tomorrow.

Lady: Is the Mayor here?

Me: No

Lady:  Does he have an office here?

Me: No.

Lady: Does he come in?

Me: Rarely.

Lady: Doesn't he live at the other end of town in the last building? 

::Secretary raises eyebrow::

Me: Yes, he does.

Lady: But that building is all torn up.

Me: Yes, it is.  They're putting a business in the bottom floor, he lives upstairs.

Lady: I went up those stairs and there was no door, just a garage.".

Me: Yes, there's no door.

Lady:  Well how does he know if you're there?

Me: We call him to let him know.

Lady: Can I get his phone number?

Me: No.

Lady: Well how can I get in touch with him?

Me:  You can leave a note and we'll put in in his box, he comes in about once a month to get his Borough mail.  Why do you need to see him?

Are you ready?

Lady:  People follow me and nobody believes me.

Me: Who's following you and why do you think our Mayor can help you?

Lady:  Terrorists, there's even a helicopter that follows me.

Me:  Oh, well why do you think terrorists would be following you?

Lady: Because I know things.

Me: How do you know things?

Lady: When I had knee surgery, it wasn't right and my doctor said it was his fault, but it wasn't.  It was the terrorists, but he was too scared and told me it was him.

Me:  Maam, there is no reason that terrorists would be after you, come back tomorrow when the clinic is here and explain all of this to the doctor.

::Phone rings, Secretary answers, says "Okay", hangs up and says to me, "They want you at the police station.".  I bid the lady good day and head to the other end of the building.  I walk in, the Lieutenant is there and a young woman is sitting on a chair.  The conversation goes as follows:

Lieutenant: We brought a female in on a warrant and have no female to search her, can you do it?

Me: ::deer in headlights kind of stare::

Me: Well...  I've never had the occasion to search anyone, you'll have to tell me what to do.

Lieutenant:  Just go up both legs, pat the pockets, up the torso and back.

::Travels steps forwad, girl stands up, Travels apologizes in advance, girl says it's no problem, Travels pats down detainee::

Lieutenant:  You have to check underneath.

::Travels, becoming a bit horrified::

Me: Between her legs???

Lieutenant: No, under her breasts.

Me:  I'm sorry, I feel like I'm molesting you.

Girl, with sympathetic grin:  No, you're not, you're being nice.

Thankfully she had small boobs, so I didn't actually have to go that far!

to be continued...

 

C'mon, tell us the rest of the story....please, lol.

I guess she stopped at the boobs. LOL

Part 2 in progress, stay tuned...

P.S. I have things to do today, I'll type each part as I can

Part 2

As soon as I got back to the office, the Manager was hobbling in on her crutches.  She took an antibiotic that caused a problem in her joints and she has a badly swollen ankle.  Needless to say, she's helpless and needs both me and the Secretary doing everything for her.  She has cabin fever and has decided it's time we go after some people in town and one business in particular. 

He's putting some of his wares on two empty lots beside his building and he's been told about it numerous times.  If his building were inspected, it would fail and he knows it.  So, in the midst of all of this, the local Water Authority, which is in the same building, informs us he turned the water off at that location, because there was a leak in his meter.  The water won't be turned back on because he's in arrears for sewage.  I can now post his building "Uninhabitable" and empty it until it's up to Code, all Borough liens paid, etc., etc.

In the meantime, he's opened a new location at the other end of town and he's got traffic tied up there now too.  Parking 30' trucks on the Avenued 24/7 is against ordinance, mill trucks and buses can't get by, it's just a mess.

Manager sends me to talk to him and I go to his first location, which is closed.  I go to the location at the other end of town and the door is locked, but vehicles are there, so I ring the bell.  He's not in, but his wife is.  I tell her what's going on and she starts to argue that the Mayor told them they could put a trailer on that lot.

Her: That trailer has been there for years and the Mayor said we can have it there, I'll get the other stuff off.

Me: The Mayor does not have the authority to tell you that you can use property that you don't own when you don't have permission from the owner.  The trailer goes too.

Her: But we take care of that lot, we cut the grass and pick up trash.

Me: Nobody asked you to and you don't have to, but you still have to remove your "stuff".

The conversation continued and when she told me for the THIRD TIME that they cut the grass and clean up trash, I told her that my hearing was fine and I comprehended that the first two times, I didn't need to hear it again.

::Travels walks out and gets back to the office to greet the husband::

He's not speakig to Travels, he wants to see the Borough Manager, who is on a conference call.

Hubby: You're not going to shut down my business.  Cite me and when we go to court, I'll tell the Magistrate that there are other places in town that are in violation and show him pictures!

Me:  I don't care how many pictures you bring to court, just as long as you have a few showing your compliance.  Other properties are not the subject here, yours is and I don't play that game.

::Hubby frustrated and spinning wheels, becoming more irate::

::Travels needs to travel for other business and exits office::

::Travels returns to office and told by Borough Manager to proceed::

::Travels, Police Lieutenant and Borough Engineer summoned by Borough Manager, game plan installed, certified mail to be sent::

Borough Manager:  Cite him, warning him that he will have to pay all arrears to the Borough before water servicve is restored.  He is now claiming that the leak is the Borough's responsibility and it's not his fault that the water is off.  Fail, proceed.

Me: I'll take the certified mail to the Post Office on my way out the door, I'll leave 20 minutes early and bring the receipt back then go home.  I'm not paying for it because I don't like having to wait for next Council meeting for reimbursement.  Need two people to sign a check and only one is available.

::Borough Manager gives Travels ten bucks.  Travels gives her $4 in change right there, so Travels could just leave from the Post Office and bring the receipt in on Monday, suggested by Borough Manager::

::Travels to PO, gets receipt, change and certified green slip, puts in coat pocket, chit chats with PO employee, exits PO.  Drives away and half way down avenue, sees only green certified receipt.  Pulls into Borough Building parking lot, searches Jeep, searches all pockets, no receipt. Wonders..."Did I stuff money in pants pocket and drop receipt or lose both?"  Counts money, not there.  Goes into building, secretary says green slip is fine, but now I'm on a mission and...::

Travels back to PO, asks clerk if something was left,

Clerk: Nope, I handed you the money and receipt

Me: Yes I remember that you did, but thought maybe I set it down to get my keys out.  Oh well, thanks anyway, have a nice weekend and if I don't see you, a Happy Thanksgiving too!

::Travels turns to exit and spots a receipt on top of garbage can lid... picks up receipt and yep, it's the right one!  Figures "...at least they used the trash for the receipt, even though they pocketed the 4 bucks, at least it wasn't $20.  Heads back to office, turns in receipt, heads home.

To be continued...

So, I finally leave work at about 2:05, looking forward to getting home to relax.  The Jeep is running on fumes and the gas station is right across the river, I'll get gas, stop at the bank and go home to relax after this hellish day!

I buy gas from my grocery chain and I buy a $200.00 gift card when I get paid, to get double gas points and have gas money for the month, give or take.  I got paid the day before and cashed my check at the Credit Union, but didn't get to my bank, there's no branch close to work and they're closed when I'm coming home.  But I only work until 2:00 on Friday and they're also open until 6:00.  I'll be home in comfy clothes, sipping on a coffee with a shot of Baileys' Irish Cream, I deserve it after the day I've had!

::Travels arrives at gas station, hasn't yet purchased gift card for the month, goes inside, prepays $50.00, gets receipt, goes to pump gas.  Jeep takes $46.80, Travels returns to cashier to get change.  Travels is aggravated that two trips in were required, but happy that a tank of gas, with no points, was less than $50.00, calls it even::

::Travels to route home, through river valley to mountain valley, to mountain home :)  River valley traffic heavy for 2:00 on a Friday, but mainly uneventful.  Exit to mountain valley heavier than normal, near rush hour density, but moving.  Make exit up mountain valley (see NOTE below), travel 1 mile to road block at next railroad crossing.  Turn around, travel 2 miles in opposite direction for access to perpendicular mountain valley detour, which leads to another detour due to falling rock and road under construction), to crest, over 2 miles to home valley/mountain, back to road at other side of blockade, up the mountain and home.  Easy, though inconvenient and way out of the way.  En route, encounter construction vehicle going 20 miles under the speed limit on twisting descending road.  Half way down hill, construction zone, no moving traffic due to cabal between flag person and operators, ten minute wait.  Finally through construction zone, no longer wanting to follow the truck, take a dirt road detour thought in a valley between valleys, where only hunters tread and the three residents that call it home.  The fist straight portion of the road is paved, past the first house.  A dog and children live in that house, so I go pretty slow until the road goes full dirt, ruts and holes.  I know where the are and can do a pretty good obstacle course through there in the Jeep, it's fun :).  I get past the house, on the narrowest portion of the paved road and am greeted by an oncoming pick-up truck.  He's against guardrail that protects a stream and I'm on the hill side, where the road drops a foot to mud, I had no choice but to drop, so I did.  At least the guy did thank me, so it was just one more obstacle to add to my day, but on I went.  Finally made it to the other side, just up the hill and home, right?  Well, I'm stopping at the 711 to get cigarettes, because I don't want to leave the house until tomorrow, I'll go to the bank in the morning, I just want to get home!!  While at the store, I decide my luck is due to change, so I asked for $5.00 on the MegaMillions.  She motioned to the guy on the phone, sitting at the lottery machine, he printed the ticket she handed it to me, I went out, go in the Jeep, threw the cigs and lottery ticket on the front seat and headed home.  Pulled into the garage (my garage door opener is broken, so I have to come inside, unlock the garage from the inside and open it manually), turned off the ignition and reached for the smoke and spotted the lottery ticket, with only two lines of numbers.  I picked it up and it wasn't even MegaMillions, it was the PA Cash 5!

I started the Jeep, pulled out of the garage, went back to the store, handed the guy my ticket and the following conversation took place...

Me, laughingly: What the hell is this?

Clerk, after inspecting it: Oh, the machine just cut off the numbers, this is valid for $5, so if any of the numbers hits, it'll be valid.

Me: And  how am I supposed to know what the other number are?

Clerk: Oh, you'll have to bring it back to have us scan it.

Me:  But if somebody else has the bottom part with the other three sets of numbers and the same applies, how do I prove I'm the one who has the valid half?

Clerk: Good point

Me:  Refund this ticket and give me the $5 on the Mega, like I requested, but also play these two sets of numbers on the Cash 5.

::Travels hands clerk $2, clerk punches numbers into machine, bottom half of previous ticket attached to top of new ticket.  Travels now must purchase back ticket for another $5!  Travels now out

$4  lost at Post Office

$2  for extra lottery ticket that have to be a karma coming in the other direction!

$5  for other extra lucky lottery ticket that matches my orphans

$11 total

Lesson learned: In future, pay for certified and get reimbursed, even if it's a month away.

Made it home safe and sound, made my coffee with Bailey's, daughter came over to visit for a bit, talked to a friend on the phone for a while, laid back to relax and wanted a drink.  As I was on my way into the kitchen, my back storm door was pulled open, slowly, held for a moment and closed slowly and gently.  Drake was sleeping in the living room next to the TV and didn't even Alert, sounds from the rear are always the wind, he alerts to the front.  But I knew it wasn't the wind because my hydraulic arm doesn't work in the cold and the door slams.  If the wind pulled it out, it would have slammed closed, even from an inch opening.  I froze in place, quietly called Drake to come to the door, picked up the phone and called my daughter, two doors away.  She wanted to know if she should bring a gun, LOL, I told her it wasn't necessary, the door is secure, I just wanted someone here before I open the back door.  She came right over, I bolted the storm door, re-locked the door, checked all of my windows, even the second floor, locked the door from the garage to the basement and basement to house, curled up and didn't move for the rest of the night.

On a slightly good note, one of the lines that I played twice hit for $1, so I won back that $2, so now I'm only down $9.

And in total, a normally 20 minute trek home in rush hour traffic, took me an hour and 15 minutes at 2:00 in the afternoon.

Absolutely the craziest day of my life, never had so many things go wrong all in one day, but I'm just thankful they were just all annoyances and nothing tragic.

NOTE: This valley road follows the contour of the hills, very winding.  In a 4 mile stretch, the railroad tracks cross the road 6 times.  The roadblock was due to a construction vehicle overturned at a sharp bend at a RR crossing, sheared a pole with wires and a gas line.  They had gas and live wires all at the same time.  The man in the truck was not injured and repairs were made without incident.

What in hell is it with me and lottery tickets?  Same store, BTW.

I'd stop buying them there.

Oh what a day,  never mind, maybe you'll have a while when nothing out of the ordinary

happens, now, to balance it up ?

No ML, I didn't have to feel her breats, just under, thank goodness!

You sure tell a story Travels. Love to hear more about the characters you meet everyday.