update on my dad - Page 1

I couldn't find my original thread on this, so starting a new one. 

For any of you who were wondering how my dad was doing.  He's still getting around ok, appetite is still good and he goes out practicly everyday to eat at his favorite places.  

But yesterday we had bad news from the doctor, his most recent blood test shows that the cancer cells in his blood have more than doubled than the first blood test that was taken (5-6 weeks ago?)   From what I've learned, tumors/cancers shed cells into the bloodstream, this is how cancers mestastasize (spread to other places in the body.)  Monitoring the cancer cells in the blood can tell doctors how fast the cancer is growing, how active it is.  Apparently, dad's is extremely, highly active/growing  :(  

They've told him that he could do chemo (which he adamently refuses to do, I don't blame him) but it's very risky for his heart and he would need such a high amount, for so long, to make any impact.   They also want to castrate him because they believe his testosterone production is encouraging his prostate cancer.  Dad refuses to do this too.  

So the doctor has given dad a tentative prognosis of 5-7 months.  

I'm very sorry to read about your father's illness. My father is very near the end of his struggle with a form of blood cancer; he also refused any treatment. My thoughts are with you during this time.

Oh you guys I am so so sorry to hear this. I lost my dad to cancer in 1986 and I know it was one of the more difficult things in my life. Not much of a prayer but I will definately send healing thoughts and good thoughts your way.

OH so sorry to hear this, however, I do not blame him for not wanting to do the chemo, etc. etc.  Our friend had leukemia (the bad kind I can't remember if it was ACL or CCL but where it (the monster) had just ravaged his body;  he did a fairly aggressive type of chemo as a last ditch effort to save himself;  well let's just say I have never seen anyone so miserable in my life and of course after a long, long, long and miserable l l/2 years or so after this ugly treatment, he died at 57.  So your dad may just want what quality of his life he does have now to remain somewhat desireable for himself and for that I honor him and admire his strength.  Don't remember if you said his age but bless him and his decision(s) he has had to make and will have to make.  And am so sorry for you that you have to endure this also as it is a very hard journey;  I just wished people could be spared the pain both family and victims.

Good luck to you and your dad,  Nan

I wish you & your Dad a happy space of time to fill with memories. Have you contacted a local Hospice? Please consider allowing Hospice to help you & your Dad through this journey. There will be changes occurring that can be tough to deal with on your own, & Hospice folks will help you through, prepare you for what you may face, & make sure your Dad is comfortable & able to live each day to his fullest. They have a lot to offer, but they will respect your Dads wishes. Please pm me if I can be of any assistance to you. jackie harris

thank you all
Laura, sorry to hear you and your dad are going through this too right now.  Voniskk, sorry to hear about the loss of your father and Nan, your friend.  

Dad isn't quite ready for hospice yet, he's still able to do things on his own.  I have been looking into hospice stuff though, for when the time comes and trying to learn from the insurance people what they will approve.  

Nan, he's 65. 

I'm actually glad that he doesn't want to do the chemo, I don't want to see him suffer through that.  At this stage, I don't think it would do more than possibly extend his life by a few months (if it doesn't cause his heart to give out...) but they would just be miserable months for him.  

But it is so frusterating, I feel useless.  Feels like I'm watching a movie in slow motion...dad standing on train tracks with a train coming and I'm unable to pull him off.  

So sorry, it must be hard to bear. Love every minute you have together. 

Hospice is available for any one who has a terminal diagnosis of 6 months or less. Many people think of Hospice as a service reserved for the very end, but they can help you with a wide variety of things, give you support, & even just answer questions you may have. Hospice is generally covered 100% by Medicare, for everything related to his primary diagnosis. So, when you're ready, remember a source of support is s phone call away. God bless you both. jackie harris ( Jacqueline Harris LPN, CHPLN)

Well Euro:  I do remember very well when my own dad was diagnosed with liver cancer (already metasized) (SP?) and I was so discouraged with him as his special special oncology guy, flown in from LA to San Jose just for my dad and his regular oncologist begged him to quit smoking, Mr. Hardy you need to quit smoking so you will have a fighting chance to beat this thing, blah, blah, blah,  well my dad would NOT quit smoking;  and when you smoke you have an 85% higher chance of getting cancer;  my dad ALREADY had cancer, you see where I am going with this.  Amazing to me he would not quit smoking.  Well 3 months after his diagnosis he died;  excuse me, 5 months later he died and I will be damned he would NOT quit smoking.  Still look back ont hat and wonder myself;  what hit. I also remember the feeling of helplessness and much dispair.  But I guess when you are given those odds what the hell.  My dad died just before his 61st birthday.  It seemed so young to me at that time and still does but one would think at 61 years old you COULD have a better chance then at say 91.??   know it depends on who, what, where and when;  but there are still some good odds out there for people, and I truly preached the holistic diet thing, the organic thing, beans and rice, etc.  Nothing I did or said made a difference in what HE WAS GOING TO DO.  And I learned the very hard way NOT to try to tell your parent or parents what to do with their lives, they do not take it lightly.  So for yourself and  your own peace of mind, just ignore him and let him live his life when and how he wants it;  your life will be MUCH easier.  But damn that was a hard lesson for me and still is as being their kid you want what is best for them even if they don't want what is best for them. 

MY girlfriends father is 88 now and he goes and walks to the bar every night for his beer(s).  Does not give a shit what people want him to do and takes my girlfriend to the bar with him if she is in town;  so you know??  Great days ahead Euro,  Nan

Sorry that the news isn't better for him. Cancer is such a cruel disease.