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by Videx on 25 July 2012 - 18:07
Love making Tips For Seniors ;-)))
1. Wear your glasses to make sure someone is actually in bed with you.
2. Set a timer for 3 minutes...in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the right mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write your partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra Poligrip to prevent your teeth from flying off in the middle of the action.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want. All your neighbors at the rest home are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
your Sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
'OLD' IS WHEN........
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot in less than an hour.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not having to get up to use the bathroom.
'OLD' IS WHEN...
You're no longer sure if these are jokes.

by fawndallas on 25 July 2012 - 21:07
Lol

by yellowrose of Texas on 25 July 2012 - 23:07
LOL
TIP from a GOLDWINGER
Never take your date to a CEMETERY!!!!!

YR

by EuroShepherd on 26 July 2012 - 01:07
LOL
I'm not old yet, but this was pretty funny. I wish my great grandmother was still around so I could share it with her, she loved raunchy jokes.
I only have one grandparent left, my grandpa on my mother's side. He like this too except now he has extremely terrible short term memory loss, he'd forget it as soon as I told him!

My grandpa lives in a super nice retirement home. Last year the retirement home had some issues with grandpa and one of his lady friends who had mild alzheimers. She kept trying to get married to him the nurses found them in bed together a few times!

by Blitzen on 27 July 2012 - 00:07
Grandpa may not have been as confused as you think, ES LOL. I'm sure most here have seen "The Golden Girls" when Ma was caught under the sheets more than once. Ma would have been the first senior in line to see "Magic Mike".
On a bit more sobering note, have you seen the film "The Notebook" - James Garner and Gina Rowland? It must be the most bittersweet film I've ever seen.
On a bit more sobering note, have you seen the film "The Notebook" - James Garner and Gina Rowland? It must be the most bittersweet film I've ever seen.

by richram on 29 July 2012 - 17:07
Great post Videx!!!! Richard
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