client or newcomer statements - just fun - Page 1

Everyone that has trained professionally, in clubs, or etc.....    all have a list of statements they listen for.

Curious to every ones funny experiences/statements when new people show up for consultations or training.

Also the red red flag statements.

And common statements newcomers make that you try to talk them out of because they just make you cringe when you here them.



I always sit and wait patiently for the famous  BUT. "My dog is perfect BUT".....
"My dog listens perfectly when no one or nothing is around".
Or the famous "my breeder said".......etc......
I wanna breed my dog cause i just want a pup or want her to experience being a mother or my personal favorite- i want my kids to see the beauty of nature/birth.

ETC............


 Cant wait to hear some of you guys as im sure you all have some doozeys....

The one that I never thought I'd ever use (not being a newcomer and all) was just 2 weeks ago.... "OMG, my dog has NEVER done THAT before!!!" LMAO, luckily my best friend is a K9 handler of 16 yrs and as she put it "We wouldn't be doing what we do if we didn't get a kick out of a bite." She told me that she was showing off her battle wound to all of the "wussies" on her squad and brag about playing with "real" K9s. She doesn't think too highly of their Co. K9 unit for various reasons, but ego being at the top. Dogs are not regularly worked.... they're a status symbol. ANYWAYS that is my favorite :)



Melissa

Best one I heard at club was, "my dog won't bite the sleeve cause he doesn't like things that have other dogs' spit on it." So the TD sarcastically said he'd be SURE to have a "special" sleeve with her dog's name on it next time. LOL

LMAO joan. thats a good one.

My dog doesn´t LIKE this ( whatever it is...)

I need to ask him/her if he/she wants to do so...

He/she doesn´t have problems - he/she just doesn´t know...

I watched my trainer go through the motions for a guy who showed up with a massively over weight pit bull, who was clearly afraid of everything the decoy was doing. (Decoy was trying to get him to bite a sheep skin tug.) And kept saying "Well if you do this or this or this the dog will bite" as the dog is cowering behind the man's legs. Finally after giving it the old college try for about 15 minutes the Trainer declared the so completely under socialized that he couldn't handle any sort of work and was so fat that he was afraid the dog would die of heat stroke. And sent the guy away. Not even worth taking his money.
And he didn't want the dog to be traumatized by his first outing.
Ugh!

I could write a book of these.

Client adopts a rescue dog and contacts me a few weeks later.

"Please can I have his papers as someone wants to use him at stud?"

"He's been neutered"

"Whats that?"

"His testicles have been cut off"

"But they'll grow back won't they?"

Stud Enquiry

All the expected questions about health tests and temperament, then -.

"How big is he?"

"Around 28 inches"

"WHAAAAT!!!!!"

Silly me thought he meant his wither height.

Took my longcoat bitch to the pub with me and she drew the attention of a couple of guys, then one came over to us.

"German Shepherd isn't it?"

"Yes" slightly surprised he didn't call her an Alsatian.

Sagely nodding head "Thought so, you can tell by the woolly ears, came from Nazi breeding experiments - dogs and sheep you know"

Don't get me started!!!!!

Margaret N-J





 

Oh feel free. I think most people have plenty, just thought it would be funny to hear everyones'.


i think joanra set the bar high so far for funniest though.