a re-write, no names - Page 2

Okay, vk4 I have had my coffee and have thought about yer poem. Here is my critique:

It is important not to let negative comments at this stage interfere with your original creative vision, which has an admitted emotional component driving its own creation. All great art must have that. I have no doubt it is the subject matter at hand that is driving most of the dislikes, or past grievances on a personal nature, even. Who knows? For the poem, it really doesn't matter. For me, I am just looking for growth. Any. Way.

My suggestion for this rewrite, is to rework it one more time and do it by eliminating the word "you". It comes across like a big angry finger looking for a target to stab. I think that takes away from your message. Take your time, no need to rush a rewrite, but if the muse grabs hold of you, best you go with her.





 

This morning post coffee while waiting on 3 people, came up with this in last 7 min....i must be bored...LOL..

Welcome to the doggy forum
Its hard to tell who is from what world
We have poodles and some setters
GSD’s and many blenders
 
And little bit about people
Funny, witty, love bug bitten
We got blend of every kind
Join us but please be kind
 
Off topic section of the forum
Place to went and share some sorrows
Main forum is for dogs
Break the rules and you’ll get lost
 
You will love it out here
Membership requires a thick skin
Wag the tail and bark less
Is the key to the success

P.S.
I do like a rewrite of vk4 a lot better, but it does comes off more angry than original, so I have to agree with bee.....