Thoughtthe board could use some lightening up. - Page 9

CHECK OUT SNOWBALL THE DANCING COCKATOO..........FUNNY!!!

birdloversonly.blogspot.com/2007/10/snowball-dancing-cockatoo.html

>These are from a book
>called "Disorder in the American  Courts",
>and are things
>people actually said in court, word for word, taken
down
>and now published by court reporters who had the
torment of
>staying calm while these exchanges were actually
taking
>place.
>
>Q: Are you sexually active?
>A: No, I just lie there.
>
>Q: What is your date of birth?
>A: July 15th.
>Q: What year?
>A:  Every year. > >
>
>Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>
>Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
at all?
>  A: Yes
>Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>  A: I forget.
>Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something that you've
>forgotten?
>
>Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>  A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
which.
>  Q: How long has he lived with you?
>  A: Forty-five years.
>
>  Q: What was the first thing your husband said to
you when he woke up
that
>morning?
>   A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>Q: And why did that upset you?
>   A: My name is Susan. >
>
>Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
involved in voodoo or
the
>occult?
>A: We both do.
>   Q: Voodoo?
>  A: We do.
>Q: You do?
>A: Yes, voodoo. > >
>
>Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he
>doesn't know about it until   the next  morning?
>A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>
>  Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old
is  he?
>
>Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>
>Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
>A: Yes. >
>Q: And what were you doing at that time? >
>
>Q: She had three children, right?
>A: Yes.
>Q: How many were boys? >
>A: None.
>Q: Were there any girls? > >
>
>
>  Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
>A: By death.
>  Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>
>Q: Can you describe the individual?
>A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>Q: Was this a male, or a female? > >
>
>Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition
notice
>which I sent to your attorney?
>A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>
>  Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
>   A:  All my autopsies have been on dead people. > >
>
>Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?  What school
did you go to?
>A: Oral.
>
>Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
>A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an
autopsy.
>
>Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>
>Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a
pulse? >
> >
>A: No
>Q: Did you check for

Problem with the "...the bitch will go away":  the Chihuahua IS a bitch.