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by keepthefaith on 02 December 2011 - 21:12
Straypixels, I hope you are feeling better. I am glad that you and Kalibeck enjoyed the Bill Cosby video.
Here is one that I am pretty sure you both and others will enjoy. First, a little introduction is needed. My apologies for the language but it is a verbatim record of the emails - I have cleaned it up a bit
What you see below are purportedly real emails exchanges between someone advertising on Craigslist (in this instance "Brad") and someone (referred to as "Me" (Mike) who is the troll) making up stuff as he responds to the ad with the express purpose of pissing off the advertiser through a series of emails. He is very good at how he goes about doing it.
Original ad:
Clean fill
Need clean fill rocks are fine. not much. cannot pick up must deliver. will take off your hands for free.
From Me to brad ********:
Hello,
I have some rocks I need to get rid of. I have several different types of rocks ranging from 1/2" to 6" rocks. Just let me know what kind you want, how much you need, and when I can send my guy to deliver.
Thanks,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
well i need them to fill a small whole in my backyard so bigger rocks i guess? 6 inch would be good. i only need like 2 wheelbarow loads so not too many. when can you deliver?
From Me to brad ********:
6" it is. I can have a truck there to deliver any time between 9-5 Monday through Friday. Where are you located?
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
do i have to be there for the delivery? i work every day so those times arent gonna work for me. if its cool could you drop them off tomorrow? just tell your guy to put them on the grass at the edge of my driveway next to the shed
heres my address:
517 *********** ln
coatesville, pa
From Me to brad ********:
No, you do not have to be there. I will forward this information to my driver and you can expect the rocks tomorrow.
From brad ******** to Me:
great
The rest of this conversation is the following day. I looked up his address in Google street view to figure out what his driveway looked like.
From Me to brad ********:
Hey Brad,
Just wanted to let you know, we actually need to get rid a few more rocks, so my guy is going to deliver them to your house in about 15 minutes.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
wait what how many more? i dont want any more i have nowhere to put them
From Me to brad ********:
We sent a truckload with about 8 tons of 6" rocks. Don't worry, all the rocks are free of charge.
From brad ******** to Me:
8 TONS? what the f-ck you better tell your guy not to deliver them
From brad ******** to Me:
you got that? DONT DELIVER THE ROCKS
From Me to brad ********:
I just got off the phone with my guy, he said he just delivered the rocks. He told me you didn't leave him enough room for all 8 tons by the shed, so he just dumped them in front of your garage.
Best,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
WHAT THE F-CK!!!! i told you dont delever them you f-cking dipshit! what the f-ck am i gonna do with all those rocks? you better get rid of them by the time i get home man..... how am i suposed to park my f-cking car?
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry that we had to block your garage, but you should have left more room next to the shed if you wanted them dumped there. Unfortunately we lack the necessary machinery to load the rocks back into the truck so removal is not an option. Also, my driver said he accidentally backed into your shed and broke one of the windows. We apologize for this. Consider the free extra rocks as compensation for the damage.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
ARE YOU F-CKING KIDING ME M--HER F-CKER YOUR PAYING FOR THE SHED
I LEFT YOU PLENTY F-CKING ROOM FOR THE AMT OF ROCKS I ASKED FOR. YOU DIDNT SAY YOU WERE DELIVERIG 8 F-CKING TONS OF ROCKS YOU PEICE OF SH-T!!!! USE YOUR HANDS I DONT GIVE A F-CK HOW YOU DO IT BUT IF I FIND 8 TONS OF ROCKS IN MY DRIVE WAY THERE IS GONNA BE F-CKING HELL TO PAY
F-CKING A$$HOLE
From Me to brad ********:
Brad,
If you insist on us removing the rocks then we are going to have to charge you a $500 rock removal fee.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
THIS IS SOME F-CKING B-LLSH-T
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry you feel that way, but without the $500 removal fee, we cannot remove the rocks. I realize you must be upset about your shed, so if you like, we can deliver another 4 tons of rocks as our way of apologizing for the shed.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
NO D-CKHEAD WHY THE F-CK WOULD I WANT MORE ROCKS??? DUMBA$$
THIS IS YOUR F-CKING FAULT. I DIDNT ASK FOR 8 TONS OF ROCKS AND IM NOT PAYING SH-T. YOU OWE ME FOR THE SHED AND YOU GET THOSE ROCKS THE F-CK OUT OF THERE YOU F-CKING PRI-K
From Me to brad ********:
If you aren't paying, then you have to keep the rocks. These are really nice rocks, though. I'm sure you will be able to find use for them. I have a pile of rocks in my backyard and it makes for a great conversation piece. If deer are a problem in your backyard, you can use these rocks to throw at them. They also make great paperweights. There are plenty of things to do with these rocks, so enjoy them.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
im at my house now. where are the rocks?
From brad ******** to Me:
oh F-CK YOU
Here is one that I am pretty sure you both and others will enjoy. First, a little introduction is needed. My apologies for the language but it is a verbatim record of the emails - I have cleaned it up a bit
What you see below are purportedly real emails exchanges between someone advertising on Craigslist (in this instance "Brad") and someone (referred to as "Me" (Mike) who is the troll) making up stuff as he responds to the ad with the express purpose of pissing off the advertiser through a series of emails. He is very good at how he goes about doing it.
Original ad:
Clean fill
Need clean fill rocks are fine. not much. cannot pick up must deliver. will take off your hands for free.
From Me to brad ********:
Hello,
I have some rocks I need to get rid of. I have several different types of rocks ranging from 1/2" to 6" rocks. Just let me know what kind you want, how much you need, and when I can send my guy to deliver.
Thanks,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
well i need them to fill a small whole in my backyard so bigger rocks i guess? 6 inch would be good. i only need like 2 wheelbarow loads so not too many. when can you deliver?
From Me to brad ********:
6" it is. I can have a truck there to deliver any time between 9-5 Monday through Friday. Where are you located?
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
do i have to be there for the delivery? i work every day so those times arent gonna work for me. if its cool could you drop them off tomorrow? just tell your guy to put them on the grass at the edge of my driveway next to the shed
heres my address:
517 *********** ln
coatesville, pa
From Me to brad ********:
No, you do not have to be there. I will forward this information to my driver and you can expect the rocks tomorrow.
From brad ******** to Me:
great
The rest of this conversation is the following day. I looked up his address in Google street view to figure out what his driveway looked like.
From Me to brad ********:
Hey Brad,
Just wanted to let you know, we actually need to get rid a few more rocks, so my guy is going to deliver them to your house in about 15 minutes.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
wait what how many more? i dont want any more i have nowhere to put them
From Me to brad ********:
We sent a truckload with about 8 tons of 6" rocks. Don't worry, all the rocks are free of charge.
From brad ******** to Me:
8 TONS? what the f-ck you better tell your guy not to deliver them
From brad ******** to Me:
you got that? DONT DELIVER THE ROCKS
From Me to brad ********:
I just got off the phone with my guy, he said he just delivered the rocks. He told me you didn't leave him enough room for all 8 tons by the shed, so he just dumped them in front of your garage.
Best,
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
WHAT THE F-CK!!!! i told you dont delever them you f-cking dipshit! what the f-ck am i gonna do with all those rocks? you better get rid of them by the time i get home man..... how am i suposed to park my f-cking car?
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry that we had to block your garage, but you should have left more room next to the shed if you wanted them dumped there. Unfortunately we lack the necessary machinery to load the rocks back into the truck so removal is not an option. Also, my driver said he accidentally backed into your shed and broke one of the windows. We apologize for this. Consider the free extra rocks as compensation for the damage.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
ARE YOU F-CKING KIDING ME M--HER F-CKER YOUR PAYING FOR THE SHED
I LEFT YOU PLENTY F-CKING ROOM FOR THE AMT OF ROCKS I ASKED FOR. YOU DIDNT SAY YOU WERE DELIVERIG 8 F-CKING TONS OF ROCKS YOU PEICE OF SH-T!!!! USE YOUR HANDS I DONT GIVE A F-CK HOW YOU DO IT BUT IF I FIND 8 TONS OF ROCKS IN MY DRIVE WAY THERE IS GONNA BE F-CKING HELL TO PAY
F-CKING A$$HOLE
From Me to brad ********:
Brad,
If you insist on us removing the rocks then we are going to have to charge you a $500 rock removal fee.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
THIS IS SOME F-CKING B-LLSH-T
From Me to brad ********:
I am sorry you feel that way, but without the $500 removal fee, we cannot remove the rocks. I realize you must be upset about your shed, so if you like, we can deliver another 4 tons of rocks as our way of apologizing for the shed.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
NO D-CKHEAD WHY THE F-CK WOULD I WANT MORE ROCKS??? DUMBA$$
THIS IS YOUR F-CKING FAULT. I DIDNT ASK FOR 8 TONS OF ROCKS AND IM NOT PAYING SH-T. YOU OWE ME FOR THE SHED AND YOU GET THOSE ROCKS THE F-CK OUT OF THERE YOU F-CKING PRI-K
From Me to brad ********:
If you aren't paying, then you have to keep the rocks. These are really nice rocks, though. I'm sure you will be able to find use for them. I have a pile of rocks in my backyard and it makes for a great conversation piece. If deer are a problem in your backyard, you can use these rocks to throw at them. They also make great paperweights. There are plenty of things to do with these rocks, so enjoy them.
Mike
From brad ******** to Me:
im at my house now. where are the rocks?
From brad ******** to Me:
oh F-CK YOU
by poseidon on 03 December 2011 - 00:12
Poor Brad, he must be off his rockers to be suckered lol
by keepthefaith on 04 December 2011 - 00:12
poseidon, if you liked the one about troll emails, check out this website which has quite a few others. Some are quite hilarious!
http://dontevenreply.com/top.php
http://dontevenreply.com/top.php
by keepthefaith on 04 December 2011 - 00:12
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.
The first lady was an arrogant woman from Calfornia, married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a damn?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious"....
The first lady was an arrogant woman from Calfornia, married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz..
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a damn?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious"....
by Red Sable on 04 December 2011 - 12:12
by Ninja181 on 04 December 2011 - 16:12
LOL Red Sable,
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words.
by keepthefaith on 04 December 2011 - 19:12
Good one RS!
The foibles of growing old -
brilliantly done with humor and dead pan delivery
The foibles of growing old -
brilliantly done with humor and dead pan delivery
by keepthefaith on 06 December 2011 - 01:12
A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses but mostly to see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.'
'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
by Red Sable on 06 December 2011 - 10:12
Ha ha ha. 
Gotta love those litte jockey's.
Gotta love those litte jockey's.
by keepthefaith on 06 December 2011 - 17:12
HOW TO HANDLE A HUSBAND
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful and loving couple...'
The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America... We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off.
My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you F*%&#@$ crazy!?'
She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once...'
And from that moment on... we have lived happily every after.'
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful and loving couple...'
The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America... We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off.
My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you F*%&#@$ crazy!?'
She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once...'
And from that moment on... we have lived happily every after.'
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