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by beetree on 08 October 2011 - 00:10
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by Kalibeck on 08 October 2011 - 16:10
by Red Sable on 09 October 2011 - 12:10
by Ninja181 on 10 October 2011 - 20:10
"So what?" said Sylvia.
"But at his age!" said Sarah, "He's over 80 isn't he?"
"Ya, so he's eighty-two, so what?" replied Sylvia. "Let him chase
girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"
by Kalibeck on 11 October 2011 - 16:10
by Red Sable on 12 October 2011 - 10:10
by Kalibeck on 14 October 2011 - 02:10
by keepthefaith on 05 November 2011 - 16:11
A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door...
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad." The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'
The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
by StrayPixels on 06 November 2011 - 22:11
The Hotel Bill
An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of Chicago 's most expensive hotel.
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
'But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Los Angeles , and Las Vegas performing here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"
The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. " But madam, this check is only made out for $50.00." '
'That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me ," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
by Jyl on 07 November 2011 - 04:11
I have read that one before. I laugh everytime I read it...
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