grammar refresher - Page 3

My spelling is flawless, because I went to school for twenty years. Fifteen of those years were in the third grade.

A friend of mine used to have foreign students in the summer.  She was left a note by a Libyan student asking her for a 07:00 breastfuck.  He got cornflakes of course!

missbeeb, LMAO!!!!!!

 missbeeb, too funny!!!!! 

Please also remember that some people who post on forum's have problems spelling things.  My Dad who whilst doesnt post on here does use another forum and is forever getting grief, but he is severely dyslexic and originally he refused to go on line and join in.  He however has so much knowledge in his set fields and I've encouraged him to share his information and whilst  his wife tries and be around when he's posting things but it isnt always possible.  So when critising people's sentence construction and spelling remember not everyone finds it easy.

Many years ago I took a summer school class at a local University.  The class was Cost Accounting.  More than half of the class were here for the summer from Japan. 

The teacher was from China but had lived in the USA and had been teaching for at least 10 years.

His English pronunciation could only be described as "inscrutable".  I was able to adjust my ear to his accent and mispronunciations by the end of the first class.

The Japanese exchange students could not.  They took notes and looked up terminology  that did not exist in their textbooks. This made for interesting and lively discussions where they asked the teacher where to find all these terms in their textbooks.  Cost Accounting is usually pretty dull stuff.

The exchange students were really held back by the professor's tortured English.  The Japanese students' English was light years ahead of the Professor.  Who, n addition to his fractured English, was a mediocre teadher at best.

Eventually, I sat with the kids after class and corrected their notes.  We made up translation lists so that they could follow the lectures. I advised them to read all the chapters ahead of the class so I could answer their questions and I gave them copies of my notes.  We all got good grades at the end.  It was a fascinating window into a different world for me and for them.

The professor did not care.  He had tenure.  His family all spoke Chinese.  His friends were all Chinese, even at the University. He probably never spoke English except while he was teaching.

Don't be such a pre madonna.

The english language is such a complexity of strange sounds and levels. I just couldn't resist this one:

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note
for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He
thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to
clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note
asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up
with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."

YR