Goodbye my Dear friend - Page 3

Only 7 years old - I can't imagine such a tragedy of losing my dog so young.  I'm so sorry.

molly

So very sorry for your loss.I lost 2 in a year and know your pain.

I'm so sorry 4Pack.

To my full condolence to you and your family including those who knew this gorgeous dog.

4 pack I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know how much he meant to you.

Thank you all. I had never been present for a Euth before. When we put Xabina down in June, GARD went to the vet with her, so I could stay at work. My best dog who was put down when I was 16, I said my goodbyes at home and let my mom take her in. I'm the kind of person who likes to keep my tears to myself. I never imagined I would break down like I did at the vets office. I can usually keep things in until I am alone.

I cried waiting in the room, before the vet ever came in. Trick looked up at me and licked my face several times and whined for my pain. Why can't we humans be as good as dogs? I should have been able to shut down my own selfish pain, until his was over. I worried him with my own selfish weakness.

I wasn't aware it happened so fast. I watched his pupils dilate and he looked at his arm where the IV was and he laid down and shortly after, stopped breathing.  I felt so guilty as the meds did their thing. At a point I wished I could stop it and at the same time hurry it up. I hated the fact that he was nervous, I didn't want his final moments in distress.  I hope he didn't know what was happening. I hope he isn't mad at me for doing what I did. I couldn't let him go, I didn't want to leave him on the floor, in that office.

When it was all over I asked what now? I guess morbid thoughts went through my mind. What will they do with his body? Will they put my dog in a plastic bag and throw him in a dumpster? I didn't want to think about it anymore, so I touched him one more time and left. Prying myself away from him felt like betrayal of the worst kind. The only thing I cling to is, I was there comforting him, with him through it all.

In my haste to get away from there, I left his collar on him. I realized 1/2 way home and called the vet. Thankfully they have it and are going to mail it to me, so I don't have to return to the office.

Today is by far one of the hardest days of my life. This is so final, so abrupt. Even with my other 3 dogs, non of them is Trick. Nobody can replace him. There are no words, no hugs that can comfort a person. I just want to crawl inside myself and be alone until I can stop crying.

Sparrow~you said it best. Cry, hurt, heal. Small things keep setting me off every time I stop. I feel like a basket case.

4 Pack,

There are no words to ease your loss, and I wish you heartfelt condolences for what you are going through. God bless your dear friend and I do believe all dogs go to heaven, otherwise we wouldn't want to go there, either. He'll be there when you're ready for that journey. Losing our dear friends so young, just hurts that much more. So sorry for your loss.

~Deb

Renofan2

Thank you so much for that poem. It took me many times to read it all through but it was the most beautiful one I have heard to date. I will have to post a copy of that, in my dogs memory.

Thank you all again for the words of comfort. I know I am not the only one who has been or will be through this. I have cried with others when they post their stories of passed dogs. 16 years it has been, since the passing of a dog has hurt me this deeply. Each one hurts but some  just hit harder. This one did for me. He was just a worthless mutt of a GSD. A pound puppy, but my worthless pound puppy he was. He loved me harder than any dog has, more than I deserved. God I miss him so much already!

4-pack:  You have nothing to feel guilty about.  You made a difficult decision to do what is best for Trick.  I too thought I was prepared, had plenty of warning that Reno's time was near.  I was unable to make the decision that you did and Reno died alone when I was out.   I struggled  for so long with the decision of when to put her to sleep, and I waited too long.   I also prefer to keep things inside and shocked myself on breaking down when I found her.   I called my sister in law and friend to help me get her in my car to take her to the vet and waited with her for an hour before the on call vet tech arrived to take her in.  It was Sunday and no one was there.  It broke my heart to leave her there on the table alone.  She wore a Miami Dolphin collar and at first I wanted to take it home with me, but then remembered how she hated when I took it off her.  She would keep nosing it and would pick it up and bring it back to me until I put it back on.  I left it with her  so she could be cremated with it.  I admire you for putting Trick out of his misery before he suffered any more and truly wish I would have had the strength like you to do that for Reno.  I know your other 3 dogs cannot replace Trick, but eventually hope you will find comfort in them as I have in mine.  Eventually the tears won't come as often, but when you hear of somone else's loss like yours, they start to fall all over again.

Cheryl

4pack,

My thoughts have been with you all day.  I keep checking this post to see if you're alright; but, how can you be?

I cried for the last two posts you've made and remember back to the ones I've lost.

We may not be as good as our dogs but, I firmly believe our dogs make us better.

I also believe the dogs we've rescued know deep down what we've done for them.  They seem to become our soul mates (if a dog can be).

I'll pray for you tonight and hope that God provides the comfort for you that so desperately seek.  I also know that when we lose one of these dogs, the whole GSD community feels the loss.

Sleep well tonight and know that Trick is where there is no pain...and he's watching over you.

God bless you.

Dawn