Joke Thread - Page 2

Truths For Mature Humans
 

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
7. Bad decisions make good stories.
8. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.  
9. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 
10. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.  
11. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 
12. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.  
13. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 
14. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.  
15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 
16. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a

4-pack, that was the best yet.