This shouldn't be an easy answer - Page 2

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by Micky D on 24 March 2010 - 15:03

 If your father is a veteran, he might very well qualify to have a home health aid come in at least part time, which would help you financially.  In addition, you might look at getting a pet sitter to check on the dogs.  Meals on Wheels will come and provide a hot lunch and even pet food.  They check on the elderly when they deliver lunch and will get in touch with someone if the person is in trouble.

There is help out there.  I wish you, your dad and of course the dogs all the best,

Micky

ZIN

by ZIN on 24 March 2010 - 15:03

Sorry to hear about the situation you are in but your number 1 goal is your fathers safety and health. With that being said I agree with many of the above comments mainly that you need to try and allow your father to make the decision. It would be great if you could find a good home for the dogs together which would be his desire Iam sure if he can not stay in his home. Knowing where his babbies are and being able to visit should be a great relief to him but again you might have to make this dicision for him which will be hard.
My grandparents lived in a duplex with there  daughter and son in law but my grandma got so bad that it was just not save for her to be in her own home anymore even with family only seconds away. That in itself is a hard decision to make having to put her in a home but it is our job to step up and do whats right. You can't blame yourself for the decisions you will have to make even though they will be unpleasant.      
my thoughts are with you stay strong  he is lucky to have someone like you because many do not.

by 1doggie2 on 24 March 2010 - 16:03

I faced this issue last year with my Dad and now am watching my Mom like a hawk, she has a rottie. The hardest thing was the dog when I finally had to put my Dad in a facility. I found one that let me bring her to visit him. They did allow residence to bring their pets with them if under a certain weight, height. But the other pets could visit. I can tell you once you move them they ralley for a very short time, because of the food and care. Then they go down and fast, they lose the will when they are not at home. I agree with Moons, this is their choice and I can understand not wanting to leave your home. I can tell you not all care givers in the home are good, I have fired many of them, they need to be checked on. I would seriously tell anyone who is getting one to get a nanny cam into the home.  I live only 10 min from my folkes, and was checking on them daily, amazes me what goes on. Is there a possibilty to rent out his home, and rent one next to you and get him close to you. You are to far away to watch him, even with help going there.

BabyEagle4U

by BabyEagle4U on 24 March 2010 - 16:03

Depending on what type of illness or if a disease, and if your funds are low, you can apply for a public grant that provides assistance for 24/7 care in his home.

I'd never want my parents or relatives in assisted living outside their own home though. My family is weird like that.

So far we all passed of old age at the main house. Except for some major accidents that lead to DOA or a foreign War.

Maybe you can apply 4 a grant and keep him in his home with assisted living ? I dunno, we've never done this but have heard about it .. just thought I'd mention it.

by tuffscuffleK9 on 24 March 2010 - 16:03

Another possible answer.  If he goes into a Long-term care facility we all know having his dogs their will be zero. 

However, I have helped families train their dog or dogs to be therapy dogs (labs do great) so that they can take them to see their loved ones.

Your Dad would also love showing off his girls.

Just a Thought,
Tuff

RLHAR

by RLHAR on 24 March 2010 - 18:03

Thank you, everybody for your well wishes and positive thoughts as well as some of the suggestions.

My father is having surgery today to address the original health issue that started this whole ball rolling.  He's been pretty foggy over the past couple of days so I haven't had a chance to talk -at- him about what he allowed to happen but believe me, as soon as he's feeling well enough to listen we are going to have a serious conversation.

I actually have an ace in the hole, in the form of one of the labs.  The 3 year old was very much my mother's dog, went to the hospital to be with my mother in the last few weeks of my mother's life and is a very sweet and sensitive lab.   It took her months to stop looking for my mother and now with my father having 'gone' away, the poor girl doesn't know if she's coming or going.  She's spent the last two nights curled up on my bed with her head on my stomach to make sure *I* don't go anywhere.

I plan to point out to him that even if he feels like he doesn't have to 'make the effort' to look out for himself, he's got two dogs who believe the sun rises and sets on him and what he's done to them is unfair.

We'll see what comes out of the conversations and go from there I suppose.  Thank you again everybody.

animules

by animules on 24 March 2010 - 18:03

RLHAR,  My prayers are with you and your family as you work through this.    If a care facility is a must for his safety and health, perhaps a rescue group, or a local 4H group, could help find a home for the dogs that would be willing to take the dogs in to visit him at least weekly.  I'm sure you will do the best for all.....

Mystere

by Mystere on 24 March 2010 - 18:03

You have received some excellent suggestions.  All I can add are my best wishes.  Except this:  when I have been hospitalized, or had to break-neck to an emergency room, the one thought uppper-most in my mind is "what about the dogs.?"   When I was hospitalized a few years ago, I actually left the emergency room when told I would be admitted to the hospital.  I had to see that my dogs were taken care of FIRST!.   I had to sign papers acknowledging that I was leaving against medical advice, and had been apprised that my situation was life-threatening, etc.   I had to take care of my dogs--first.  I included "disposition" of the dogs, in case I didn't leave the hospital in an upright position.  (One USA judge has told me he was so glad of my recovery mainly because otherwise his wife was taking one of my dogs)

I would bet your father feels the same way about those two lives that are so devoted to, and dependent on, him.  He will want to do what is best for them, even if he does not have  appropriate concern for himself.   The dogs are still young enough to have increased odds of finding "forever homes," as opposed to a few years from now.  

 

Rookabadooka

by Rookabadooka on 24 March 2010 - 18:03

I am sorry I just skimmed this (screaming kids :))  If your father will be staying at home, try contacting your local senior center.  They may be able to get you in touch with a group that can help by stopping in and helping care for the dogs.  Groups like Eagle Scouts etc. may also offer some help.  I hope you find the assistance you need.  Prayers to you.

~Rooka
 


BabyEagle4U

by BabyEagle4U on 24 March 2010 - 19:03

Ya, good idea rook with the Scouts. They do, do these type things.

I'd go this route before apply for the grant. Prolly 8 of the 10 people requesting the help, the Scouts church might even contribute with the meal on wheels and daily socializing too. Great idea actually.







 


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