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by beetree on 25 August 2013 - 11:08
Travels,
My grandfather died of Alzheimer's. And my grandmother on the other side suffered dementia. I can't tell you how horrible Alzheimer's gets to be in the end. The stories are endless. Your mother may not be able to care for her husband, eventually. It gets difficult and even dangerous. The stress of the caregiver can cause her own health to suffer. It is good that you have family for support.
I remember my mother had a very hard time accepting that her father did not know who she was. Or me, but I never grew up near my grandparents, so I didn't expect much. My grandpa too, would wake in the wee hours of the morning, get dressed and just sit there, waiting, waiting. He worked as an IH mechanic his whole life, and was over 6 ft tall. It was gut wrenching to watch the anger and confusion. He would want to drive his car! It had to be blocked. One time he took the garden clippers and cut every single blossom and flower off G'mom's plants... She was livid! As the disease progresses it is like going back to infancy, but how does one handle a 6 ft, angry, and confused baby? Living was never meant to be like that.
Sorry for going on so negatively. I am sorry you have this to contend with. Ruger1 made a great post. I always hope science will find the answers, soon, to stop the robbing of the minds. You are correct, it won't be easy.
PM me any time if you need to talk about this.
My grandfather died of Alzheimer's. And my grandmother on the other side suffered dementia. I can't tell you how horrible Alzheimer's gets to be in the end. The stories are endless. Your mother may not be able to care for her husband, eventually. It gets difficult and even dangerous. The stress of the caregiver can cause her own health to suffer. It is good that you have family for support.
I remember my mother had a very hard time accepting that her father did not know who she was. Or me, but I never grew up near my grandparents, so I didn't expect much. My grandpa too, would wake in the wee hours of the morning, get dressed and just sit there, waiting, waiting. He worked as an IH mechanic his whole life, and was over 6 ft tall. It was gut wrenching to watch the anger and confusion. He would want to drive his car! It had to be blocked. One time he took the garden clippers and cut every single blossom and flower off G'mom's plants... She was livid! As the disease progresses it is like going back to infancy, but how does one handle a 6 ft, angry, and confused baby? Living was never meant to be like that.
Sorry for going on so negatively. I am sorry you have this to contend with. Ruger1 made a great post. I always hope science will find the answers, soon, to stop the robbing of the minds. You are correct, it won't be easy.
PM me any time if you need to talk about this.
by Mindhunt on 25 August 2013 - 11:08
My Neuropsych professor calls it the long good-bye. Sympathies for all of you who have loved ones experiencing dementia. One thing is that your loved one knows on some level you are there, they may not be able to respond in a way that lets you know that, but studies have shown that the one with dementia when visited by a loved one, their heart rate slows, their blood pressure drops, and there are other numerous neuro and physiological responses that indicate pleasure and contentment that a loved one is there and interacting. Prayers to all of you in your difficult time.
by vk4gsd on 25 August 2013 - 21:08
travels, sorry to hear of such sad news. strenght to you and family.
shtal/gouda.........you have no class & no hope.
Rose, did you reply on the wrong thread??????
shtal/gouda.........you have no class & no hope.
Rose, did you reply on the wrong thread??????
by GSDtravels on 16 September 2013 - 22:09
Thanks to all who responded, it's nice to know that others understand 
This past week end went about like the last one, I now look forward to Monday, LOL. At least when I get home, after taking care of Drake, I get some down time. I usually spend it cooking, cleaning, etc., but unfortunately I had time to do that on Saturday.
Last week end, I was supposed to work at one of my Boroughs in the morning, then go over to Mom's and clean and stay with Dad while she went to church. My daughter had called on Monday and asked if I could keep the little ones Saturday night. Okay, day planned.
Friday night, my daughter calls to "firm up her plans". Since her husband is doing a side job on Saturday afternoon, he could bring the kids early and drop them off! Yippee! If not, they'll be late for the concert if he has to go all the way back home (40 minutes each way) and then come back.
Okay, so I rearrange my plans, call my mother and let her know I'll have the kids with me, to which she responds "We'll see." Uh, no Mom, we won't "see", I'll HAVE the kids with me, like it or not. Dad loves the kids, he'll be happy to see them! Okay, day replanned.
So, in the meantime, I'm waiting on a call from my youngest, who went to Tahoe for a concert, by herself. When I talked to her on Thursday, she informed me she was going for a hike in the wilderness area on Friday -----> alone. I objected and she gave me the old, tired, "Oh mother, I'll be fine, why do you worry so much?" line. I at least got her to promise to call me when she got back. It's now almost 11 o'clock and I haven't heard anything from her, so I called and got her VM. Told her to call or I wouldn't be able to go to sleep. An hour later, I called back and her VM was full. Uh.... Her husband was on a business trip, maybe he'd heard from her, I gotta call him... and I couldn't find his cell number. I searched for and found my old cell with his number in the phone book, but I couldn't find the charger
I ended up calling the South Tahoe PD. I talked to a very nice female officer who proceeded to ask me... Where is she staying me: Uh, in a cabin she: What kind of car is she driving? me: Uh, I don't know. she: Which trail did she take? me: Uh, I'm not sure. She takes what info I did have and tells me the Sheriff will call me within 10 minutes. I then called and got my other daughter out of bed and told her to call the husband and see if he's heard from her. Then I check FB and she posted her permit, with location and points of entry/exit! The Sheriff calls and I give him the information when my daughters calls to say he heard from her at 11:00. I tell the Sheriff to call of the search, literally, LOL, thank him and didn't get to sleep until 4.
Needless to say, I didn't make it to work, but I got some laundry and cleaning done and then the rest of the day went as expected, Dad really enjoyed the little ones, Mom went off to church with my sister and we went home and had a PJ party. The kids got to ride in the jeep topless, the just love that. When we were on vacation, they wanted to ride in the Jeep wearing bandanas, so I made sure I got them some. I so crashed that night
Now this past weekend I had to clean two houses on Sunday (I've given my notice, my mother needs the help more than I need the money --->feels good to be able to say that) so planned on going to Mom's Saturday, taking the wallpaper off the bathroom walls and cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen. Then I could just stay while Mom went to church and come home when she got back.
I wake up in the morning and vegged for a couple of hours, over coffee with Bailey's :) Called Mom and told her I'd be there by 10:00. Planned on getting in the shower at 9:00, was on my second cup of coffee and got a really strong whiff of sewer gas, in my living room! I went downstairs and the smell was unbearable. It was emanating from the drain on the basement floor. I took the cover off and saw the plastic rings from a 6-pack.on top of what appeared to be asphalt. I didn't have any wire hangers so I called my neighbor and she brought one over for me. I poked at what was a hard mass about 1' down. I wasn't reaching my arm down that hole, I hate pluming work, especially drains!
My neighbor told me she knew a plumber, who she called immediately. He said he's a Master Plumber and he would have to charge me out the a$$ to come on Saturday, but he knew a guy who works at a plumbing store down the road and he does pretty good side work. If he can get in touch with him, he'll let me know. So the wait was on and Mom was on hold.
I placed fans at strategic locations and opened widows upstairs to get the putrid odor out, as much as possible. Two hours later, I heard from the guy and he said he'd charge me $40 to come out. Deal! He fished, out of my drain, one flashlight, deteriorated, but pretty intact, considering. One "C" battery, I'm assuming from the flashlight. One large shank bone, presumably given to a dog. One plastic 6-pack ring, a mass of steel wool and numerous unidentifiable objects. The conclusion was that the dog bone eventually got wedged in the trap, allowing gas to escape. How long all that garbage was down there is anyone's guess. Two tenants had been evicted in the 10 years I used this as rental income, so I'm just glad it wasn't a bag of concrete. Funny thing is, I never had a problem with that drain, no odor, no clog. The dog bone must have been wedged diagonally and held up the rest of the garbage but still let water pass. When it dropped, it opened an air passage.
Good news is, it ended up costing me $60, so life was good. I then made it to Mom's at 3:30 and she decided she was too tired for church. I got the wallpaper off, cleaned the entire bathroom, including scrubbing down the tile. Then Dad went in and peed on the rim and the toilet, floor and walls had to be done again
I got the other bathroom cleaned and washed up just in time for my siblings to arrive with Mom's birthday cake.
We sang happy birthday and Dad sat at the head of the table, with all of us there. And so life was good 
This past week end went about like the last one, I now look forward to Monday, LOL. At least when I get home, after taking care of Drake, I get some down time. I usually spend it cooking, cleaning, etc., but unfortunately I had time to do that on Saturday.Last week end, I was supposed to work at one of my Boroughs in the morning, then go over to Mom's and clean and stay with Dad while she went to church. My daughter had called on Monday and asked if I could keep the little ones Saturday night. Okay, day planned.
Friday night, my daughter calls to "firm up her plans". Since her husband is doing a side job on Saturday afternoon, he could bring the kids early and drop them off! Yippee! If not, they'll be late for the concert if he has to go all the way back home (40 minutes each way) and then come back.
Okay, so I rearrange my plans, call my mother and let her know I'll have the kids with me, to which she responds "We'll see." Uh, no Mom, we won't "see", I'll HAVE the kids with me, like it or not. Dad loves the kids, he'll be happy to see them! Okay, day replanned.So, in the meantime, I'm waiting on a call from my youngest, who went to Tahoe for a concert, by herself. When I talked to her on Thursday, she informed me she was going for a hike in the wilderness area on Friday -----> alone. I objected and she gave me the old, tired, "Oh mother, I'll be fine, why do you worry so much?" line. I at least got her to promise to call me when she got back. It's now almost 11 o'clock and I haven't heard anything from her, so I called and got her VM. Told her to call or I wouldn't be able to go to sleep. An hour later, I called back and her VM was full. Uh.... Her husband was on a business trip, maybe he'd heard from her, I gotta call him... and I couldn't find his cell number. I searched for and found my old cell with his number in the phone book, but I couldn't find the charger
I ended up calling the South Tahoe PD. I talked to a very nice female officer who proceeded to ask me... Where is she staying me: Uh, in a cabin she: What kind of car is she driving? me: Uh, I don't know. she: Which trail did she take? me: Uh, I'm not sure. She takes what info I did have and tells me the Sheriff will call me within 10 minutes. I then called and got my other daughter out of bed and told her to call the husband and see if he's heard from her. Then I check FB and she posted her permit, with location and points of entry/exit! The Sheriff calls and I give him the information when my daughters calls to say he heard from her at 11:00. I tell the Sheriff to call of the search, literally, LOL, thank him and didn't get to sleep until 4.Needless to say, I didn't make it to work, but I got some laundry and cleaning done and then the rest of the day went as expected, Dad really enjoyed the little ones, Mom went off to church with my sister and we went home and had a PJ party. The kids got to ride in the jeep topless, the just love that. When we were on vacation, they wanted to ride in the Jeep wearing bandanas, so I made sure I got them some. I so crashed that night
Now this past weekend I had to clean two houses on Sunday (I've given my notice, my mother needs the help more than I need the money --->feels good to be able to say that) so planned on going to Mom's Saturday, taking the wallpaper off the bathroom walls and cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen. Then I could just stay while Mom went to church and come home when she got back.
I wake up in the morning and vegged for a couple of hours, over coffee with Bailey's :) Called Mom and told her I'd be there by 10:00. Planned on getting in the shower at 9:00, was on my second cup of coffee and got a really strong whiff of sewer gas, in my living room! I went downstairs and the smell was unbearable. It was emanating from the drain on the basement floor. I took the cover off and saw the plastic rings from a 6-pack.on top of what appeared to be asphalt. I didn't have any wire hangers so I called my neighbor and she brought one over for me. I poked at what was a hard mass about 1' down. I wasn't reaching my arm down that hole, I hate pluming work, especially drains!
My neighbor told me she knew a plumber, who she called immediately. He said he's a Master Plumber and he would have to charge me out the a$$ to come on Saturday, but he knew a guy who works at a plumbing store down the road and he does pretty good side work. If he can get in touch with him, he'll let me know. So the wait was on and Mom was on hold.
I placed fans at strategic locations and opened widows upstairs to get the putrid odor out, as much as possible. Two hours later, I heard from the guy and he said he'd charge me $40 to come out. Deal! He fished, out of my drain, one flashlight, deteriorated, but pretty intact, considering. One "C" battery, I'm assuming from the flashlight. One large shank bone, presumably given to a dog. One plastic 6-pack ring, a mass of steel wool and numerous unidentifiable objects. The conclusion was that the dog bone eventually got wedged in the trap, allowing gas to escape. How long all that garbage was down there is anyone's guess. Two tenants had been evicted in the 10 years I used this as rental income, so I'm just glad it wasn't a bag of concrete. Funny thing is, I never had a problem with that drain, no odor, no clog. The dog bone must have been wedged diagonally and held up the rest of the garbage but still let water pass. When it dropped, it opened an air passage.
Good news is, it ended up costing me $60, so life was good. I then made it to Mom's at 3:30 and she decided she was too tired for church. I got the wallpaper off, cleaned the entire bathroom, including scrubbing down the tile. Then Dad went in and peed on the rim and the toilet, floor and walls had to be done again
I got the other bathroom cleaned and washed up just in time for my siblings to arrive with Mom's birthday cake.
We sang happy birthday and Dad sat at the head of the table, with all of us there. And so life was good by GSDtravels on 16 September 2013 - 22:09
Oh, and I get to go to my other Borough tomorrow, where a young kid was shot and killed last night. In the neighborhood where they have signs in their yards saying "Stop shooting, we LOVE you!" Just another day in the trenches 
by GSDtravels on 21 November 2013 - 23:11
I can finally answer beetree's question :) No, it's not permanent.
I've been here for almost three months and my mother thinks she is now capable of handling things on her own. She has someone coming in during the day and she feels better about being here at night alone with him. I can always come back if the need arises and of course, I'll come over on the weekends to pitch in. But it sure will be nice to sleep in my own be for a change :) Dad is doing much better, his condition has not deteriorated and the only thing that pisses him off now is the fact that he will never drive again.
I've been here for almost three months and my mother thinks she is now capable of handling things on her own. She has someone coming in during the day and she feels better about being here at night alone with him. I can always come back if the need arises and of course, I'll come over on the weekends to pitch in. But it sure will be nice to sleep in my own be for a change :) Dad is doing much better, his condition has not deteriorated and the only thing that pisses him off now is the fact that he will never drive again.
by Two Moons on 21 November 2013 - 23:11
Glad to hear things are easing up a little..........
by Ruger1 on 22 November 2013 - 01:11
I am glad for you,,,Nothing like being in your own bed!,,What you have done was a real sacrifice of your time,,:) You're a good daughter :)
by beetree on 22 November 2013 - 08:11
Travels:
Something about wanting to drive and not being able to... really bugs those old guys!
Glad to hear things are manageable for your mom, now.
Good grief about that signage! It surely makes a statement about the neighborhood!
Something about wanting to drive and not being able to... really bugs those old guys!
Glad to hear things are manageable for your mom, now. Good grief about that signage! It surely makes a statement about the neighborhood!
by LadyFrost on 22 November 2013 - 08:11
GSDtravels...we are here for you...we all may suck as getting along and some days act like we hate each other but deep inside we care, and we worry so we are here if you need us....:)
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