Hey ya'll

i found this surfing the web the other day and had to share it. I'm sure most of us can relate to it in one way or another.

BATTLE HYMN OF SCHUTZHUND

Mine eyes have seen the terror of the coming schutzhund trial,
I have handed in my scorebook, but my brain is in denial,
I'll be looking for the port-a-potty in a little while,
I wish I'd stayed in bed.

Glory, glory, with a lightning fast retrieve,
Glory, glory, with a full grip on the sleeve,
A qualifying score is what I'm hoping to receive,
Because we train so hard!

I thought I was prepared to handle any circumstance,
My dog went down the first leg and I thought we had a chance,
Then he circled on the corner and I almost s**t my pants,
The points are coming off!

Glory, glory etc.

The judge gave me the signal and I gave my dog a call,
He hit me like a freight train and he nearly broke my balls,
I'd have me a chihuahua, if I had some sense at all!
The points are coming off!

Glory, glory, etc.

We went to do protection, it's his favorite part, you see,
I sent him out to search six blinds, he thought that he'd run three,
He ignored me for the callout, he can be so ornery!
The points are coming off!

Glory, glory, etc.

It's amazing, it's a wonder that we got a passing score!
My dog has done so many things he's never done before,
But this schutzhund is addictive, and we'll all be back for more,
I'm glad this trial is done!

Glory, glory, with a lightning fast retrieve,
Glory, glory, with a full grip on the sleeve,
A qualifying score is what I'm hoping to receive,
Because we train so hard!
**************************************************************

That's really funny.  I found this one too:

10 Rules of Schutzhund

1. If you don't find any food within the first 6 meters of the track...forget it, there isn't any. You can break off the track.
2. Save your nose, only use it for corners!
3. Ignore articles that are smaller than a brick.
4. Don't forget - the group is there to molest someone.
5. Never go in correct basic position, it only makes the handler happy.
6. Only retrieve when forced. Remember, the dumbbell is YOURS!
7. Save energy! Set your feet on the hurdle. Freestyle jumping is a common sport.
8. Go directly to the helper. Forget the other blinds, they are empty anyway.
9. Get a full bite in the blind - that IMPRESSES!  
10. Never let go of the sleeve, the helper has to give it to you at some point anyway

That's really funny.

Hey sueincc-did you notice? we have another buyer for our ever popular Shepuahua, think we better up the price!  The bucks are rolling in......... Glory, glory hallelulia. Glory ,glory hallelulia. Glory, glory hallelulia..........the bucks are rolling in 

Sorry schutzhund girl 90. Not trying to hijack your thread.

This is an old joke, but I think it's really funny.  :

A guy heard about a man who was selling a talking GSD.  He went to the mans' house & asked him if the dog could really talk.  The owner said "absolutely, the dog's in the living room, go on in and talk to him yourself".  So the prospective buyer went in & asked the dog what the story was.  The dog said "Oh yes, I am a talking dog.  As a pup, I was drafted by the Army.  I was the one who discovered the hiding place of Saddam.  After that, I was returned stateside because the FBI needed my help in order to discover the identity of the BTK killer.  Then, I was transferred to the secret service and assigned to protect President Bush.  I foiled several assassination attempts prior to my retirement".  Well, needless to say, the prospective buyer was amazed & ran out to ask the owner how much he wanted for the dog.  The owner said $50.00.  The prospective buyer wondered why so cheap?  The owner said "Cause the son of a bitch is a liar".

sue,,, i had  seen that before,, reminds me of  my bitch this last weekend,,somehow we did manage to pass and get our SchH 3!

i'll have to post a video of her bark and hold.  in the critique(spl?)  the judge stated "she came around the blind and bit very well"

thankfully she let go.

john

John,

Congrats!  And that is REALLY funny,.  I think our Ccatti doll has a relative....

Please do post the video!

Thanks guys...I so needed to laugh...Beckett & I went flying yesterday; he not only ignored my commands, but pulled me so hard I caught air, landed on my hands, tore chunks out of my left hand, my right knee, and probably tore my right rotator cuff, I'll have the MRI tomorrow........out of work now until it's better, can't move the right arm...I love ths hobby of mine!!! Would you call that masochistic?? My mom wants me to get a shepahuahua....so does my hubby...our wedding is 1 month from today, I guess it's a good thing the gown is sleeveless!! Thanks again for the laughs!!! jo

Oh man, that must have really hurt.  If you tore your rotator cuff will you have to have surgery?

I feel for you   my first chezh male drug me across the state park in training session one day...and all the guys laughed ...but then they picked me up.....I had to put him with a trainer after that....I didnt have the backbone or strength to handle him....

Hope you dont need surgery, but if so ,,my partners husband just had it in Galveston, and it was a good surgery and he coulddnt move for 4 weeks and then the started the rehab  and hes fine now....three months ago,,,,lost of therapy.....and cautious exercises...and take lots of ester C...