What are the Germans teaching these dog? - Page 1

I was outside today when I spotted a man assaulting a neighbor, so I decided to send my recently acquired German fully trained GSD after him. I let him go and yelled "Packen" well low and behold didn't the dog run full blast right back into the house. Meanwhile the guy takes off in his car. Now the dog comes out wearing my holster and gun, I yelled "you idiot I told you PACKEN not Packing now AUS". Well the last two commands he heard were packen and aus which he must have interpreted as bite and house because he immediately began biting the house. So to get him off the house I yelled the command for here (HIER) well he took off down the street and didn't return for twenty minutes. He had a mouth full of papers. I examined one of them and screamed what are you doing with all these job applications, I said HEIR not HIRE. Next I gave him the command to sit (SITZ), well you probably guessed it by now he thought I said SHI*TS and squatted and dropped a big pile right on the front lawn. I said we need to take a walk, so we headed for a local park. I unhooked him to see how he heeled off the lease. I gave him the command to heel (FOOZ) well he must have thought I said BOOZE because he took off and stole a brown bag right out of the hand of a sleeping wino sitting on a park bench. He was heeling well without the lease so we continued our walk. Soon we both spotted a woman walking a beautiful large poodle, I commented isn't she SWEET. He must have thought I said she was "IN HEAT", he took off like a bat out of hell, he may be 100% show line but you should have seen the DRIVE. Suffice it to say it now involves a citation and future court appearance. It's getting dark and I'm tired so we head home. He is still walking off the lease as we walk up the driveway. I tell him I'm tired and want to go to SLEEP; he books for the neighbor's yard full blast. I go over there and he is standing on his hind legs looking in the neighbor's bedroom window. Oh my god I yell, get over here you nut I said SLEEP not PEEP. Now tomorrow I want to see how well he tracks, but the way we are miss-communicating here there is no way I'm going to yell "SUCH" in public cause I have an awful feeling he is going to think I said something else that could lead to jail time. So my question, is it him or me? This post was intended to make you laugh, I hope it did. Joe

very cute.. at first, I thought Oh my god.. no.. and then realized it was a joke!! Thanks for the chuckle

Nice lol, I like that one!

I'm chokin' on my cornfree- wheatfree- kibble! Very Funny!

LMAO!!

Ninja, take him to the vet immediately and have his ears checked.ecs

LOL!!! I thought you were serious st first.. but then realized you were kiddin around.. very, very clever.. I like that one ;). -Andrea

That was the best reading for a long time yes you did it. I can not believe anyone would think it was real. I love the way you put the words together it fits and the last one mon amie love to see. Hast Du gut gemacht. Danke, Mange Tak. Greetings, von Maxi

Smart boy to go for the booze!!! LOL......great laugh!

ROFL...........