The PDB's own story - Page 14

Everyone laughs. "Good one" replys Pink.

Then Cassie blurts out "I was abducted by an alien" but I.....................

...was returned to Earth after being experimented on, that's how I met Darth, didn't I tell you this before? And that they implanted a psychic mind reader in my brain but it only works with people of hispanic descent! I don't speak Spanish! It is a curse I tell you!"

And this surprising admission led to Cassie to state emphatically, "That is one reason why I never waste my time with men who still tell potty jokes and keep company with their own farts.  There aren't many men who can stand up to my scrutiny, their failures chase them away even before I ever do."

The night was long and the morning came fast. Their next problem was apparent in the light of day as the trio woke up in a high rise apartment in the heart of Manhattan and saw...


 

A beautiful sun rise, over skyrise buildings, and the bustle of cars and buses in the
street. Cassie  thought about her time at Mudwick college in the East Bay. Where
she took psychology. She had read the book True hallucinations for an assignment.
In the book the author describes a remote tribe of Indians living in the Amazon. 
 They would ingest hallucinogenic intoxicants, and than go into a large
hut and lie down. The Indians pinnacle of entertainment was to
rip out a loud and long fart. This would send them into
near hysteria of laughter and competition.
It was for the men only, and Cassie thought to her self
in an analytical way. Was this how evolution works?
Just than there was a knock on the door.....

It was this balding short little man.  He was wearing overalls with holes in the knees and pink crocs.  Perched on his nose were some horned rimmed glasses and a gray bushy mustache sat upon his lip.  He was puffing on a cigarette and his eyes were glued to Cassie's bosom.
"Can I help you"  Cassie asked trying to stop herself from gagging.

"Sure dolly"  he drawled.  "I bet you can" he said with a snort laughing at  his own joke. 

Cassie by this time had had it with men.  Farting, perverted bunch of losers.  Drawing back her arm she punched him right in his red veiny bulb like nose.  He lost his balance and tumbled backwards down the stairs, landing  with a thump.  He must have hit his revolting little head because he wasn't moving.

Oh great, she thought, now what am I going to do? 

Just than Javier Bardem  the chef came up and asked if Cassie and
her friends would like to come over to his apartment across the hall
and have Spanish omelette's and coffee. She said ......ah...sure.
So the trio stepped over the body of Mr fart head and went inside Javier's
kitchen...

After a wonderful breakfast...Javier brought out some wine.
Cassie said this is delicious wine what is it?....Javier said don't
ask....This is my friend Max's apartment. I stay here from time
to time when he is in Belguim.

Than Javeir ask Cassie if she understood spanish love songs.
She said...

.....not if you are going to give me that '77 Rothschild Beaujolais crap!

Cassie jumps and said oh my God what was that? Javier just
smiled and said don't pay any attention to her. She is the little old lady next door
who runs around in slippers and a hairnet smoking with her bed robe on.
She never has anything nice to say about anyone who isn't as mean and nasty as
she is.

I want you to have something Cassie it is... Luis Miguel

Listen to him and the next time we meet you can tell what you think.
 .
And I will play some of my own music. Cassie said thanks, for the
wonderful breakfast and the wine was the best she ever  had.
He kissed her on the cheek and was the perfect gentleman.
As they left they saw the old mean woman standing out side in the hallway
and turned and went the other way.