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by Ibrahim on 10 September 2011 - 23:09
I am all tears
by Ibrahim on 14 September 2011 - 10:09
Difference between complete & finished
When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED
And when the "right one" catches you with the"wrong one",
you are
COMPLETELY FINISHED :)
When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED
And when the "right one" catches you with the"wrong one",
you are
COMPLETELY FINISHED :)
by Kalibeck on 15 September 2011 - 02:09
LOLOLOLOL!!!!! jackie harris
by SitasMom on 15 September 2011 - 03:09
Roger , 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old .
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed andthe expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'
The moral of the story:
Don't be afraid of getting old, has its advantages.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed andthe expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.'
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: 'You mean I was here already?'
The moral of the story:
Don't be afraid of getting old, has its advantages.
by Ninja181 on 23 September 2011 - 00:09
In a small town in Italy a young man makes an appointment to visit his doctor. The doctor asks why he is there. He says he is engaged and he insists that his future bride is a virgin. He asks the doctor if there is any simple test he can perform to verify that she is indeed a virgin.
The doctor says yes follow my advice. Buy a small can of blue paint, a small can of red paint and a shovel. Paint one of your balls blue, paint the other one red. Take the shovel and your girlfriend for a walk in the woods. Drop your draws and if she says those are the strangest balls I have ever seen. Hit her in the head with the shovel, because she is not a virgin.
The doctor says yes follow my advice. Buy a small can of blue paint, a small can of red paint and a shovel. Paint one of your balls blue, paint the other one red. Take the shovel and your girlfriend for a walk in the woods. Drop your draws and if she says those are the strangest balls I have ever seen. Hit her in the head with the shovel, because she is not a virgin.
by Ninja181 on 23 September 2011 - 01:09
An oriental man walks into a Jewish garment shop and asks to speak to the owner. He tells the owner he wants 50 black bras size 38. The owner makes a phone call and says I can have them here this afternoon, but that size and color are hard to come by, supplies are low and I need to get $50.00 a bra. The oriental man says order them I'll be back this afternoon to pick them up.
A week later the oriental man returns, this time he tells the owner he needs an additional 100 black bras size 38. The owner makes one call and says I can have them here this afternoon, but supplies are even lower than last week and they will cost $75.00 per bra. The oriental man says to order them and he will pick them up later.
Another week goes by and the oriental man again returns. He tells the store owner he now needs an additional 200 black bras size 38. The owner makes one call and says he can have them in stock later in the day. But he informs the oriental man that supplies are so low that they will now cost $100.00 a piece. The oriental man says to order them and he will pick them up later. The Jewish owner says you know this is a very strange order do you mind if I ask you what you are doing with all these bras? The oriental man says no I don't mind telling you. I simply cut them in half and sell each half as a beanie to a Jewish man for $200.00 a piece.
A week later the oriental man returns, this time he tells the owner he needs an additional 100 black bras size 38. The owner makes one call and says I can have them here this afternoon, but supplies are even lower than last week and they will cost $75.00 per bra. The oriental man says to order them and he will pick them up later.
Another week goes by and the oriental man again returns. He tells the store owner he now needs an additional 200 black bras size 38. The owner makes one call and says he can have them in stock later in the day. But he informs the oriental man that supplies are so low that they will now cost $100.00 a piece. The oriental man says to order them and he will pick them up later. The Jewish owner says you know this is a very strange order do you mind if I ask you what you are doing with all these bras? The oriental man says no I don't mind telling you. I simply cut them in half and sell each half as a beanie to a Jewish man for $200.00 a piece.
by yellowrose of Texas on 05 October 2011 - 21:10
. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring.
Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
by Red Sable on 06 October 2011 - 01:10
by Ninja181 on 07 October 2011 - 21:10
A young boy walks into the confessional and says, bless me father I have sinned. The priest asks, is that you Joey Depaulo my altar boy? Yes father it is I Joey Depaulo. How have you sinned Joey asks the priest? I was with some loose woman replies Joey. Was it Mary DeTillizi asks the priest? No replies Joey. Was it Carol Capallo asks the priest? I’m sorry I don’t want to say, was the reply. Was it Sue Marconi asks the priest? I don’t really want to say father. How about Donna Mangini, was she one of them. I’m sorry father I don’t want to mention the girls, I just want to confess my sins.
Well said the Priest I admire the fact that you won’t mention their names, but since you have sinned I’m still going to have to punish you. I want you to say five Hail Mary’s and you are suspended from being an altar boy for three months. Joey left the confessional, kneeled at the altar and said his five Hail Mary’s.
He then returned to a seat in the church next to his friends. What happened asked one of his friends? I got three months vacation and four good leads replied Joey.
Well said the Priest I admire the fact that you won’t mention their names, but since you have sinned I’m still going to have to punish you. I want you to say five Hail Mary’s and you are suspended from being an altar boy for three months. Joey left the confessional, kneeled at the altar and said his five Hail Mary’s.
He then returned to a seat in the church next to his friends. What happened asked one of his friends? I got three months vacation and four good leads replied Joey.
by beetree on 08 October 2011 - 00:10
Ninja, now, that joke was funny! 
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