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Classified: Solid black German Shepherd Puppies
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Funny story about a taser... (20 replies)
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Here is a story off the subject of dogs... An amusing story about a taser...
http://nursinglink.monster.com/topics/4637-funny-taser-story/posts
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OMG!! I laughed 'til I cried!
Only a guy could be that stupid!  |
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omg! i haven't laughed that hard since the story about the snow, the road grader and the guy who ended up burning his house down. i sent that to ev eryone i know who has even a tiny sense of humor.
pjp |
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Funny -- I got a good laugh -- thanks for posting
Ziegen -- would you re-post your story. |
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maggie, i pm'd you. grab a kleenex before opening. last time i read it i had tears and snot running. its hysterical.
pjp |
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| I wouldn't give it to my wife without testing it, as well! Good thing she doesn't like weapons! |
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I WANT ONE !!!! I am laughing so hard my dog thinks I have gone off my rocker :)
Always,
Cee |
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| Too funny.....thanks for the laugh. |
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That was funny and I can feel that guys pain. A few years ago, we did training for our SIRT team and were going to be issued tasers. Part of the training included being tased. For some stupid reason the brass felt that we should all know what it feels like to be tased if we are going to carry one. I carry a gun and have no desire to be shot or hit with an ASP baton, so I didn't get the logic. We had the option of a 1 second or a 5 second "ride." Out of the 40 or so guys on the team me and 3 others decided we would take the 5 second ride or 5 seconds of being tased. Everyone else, obviously the brighter people took the 1 second option. These are the tasers that shoot the probes out to about 21 feet or so. The further apart the contacts are the greater the effect, so it is much more effective and painful than hand held units.
I can honestly say it was the worst 5 seconds of my life. The pain was excruciating, my entire body was tense and every muscle twitched and convulsed. My brain was counting 1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, up to what seemed liked 6 or 7 one thousand. I was yelling turn the f'n thing off and all that came out was a series of grunts. You are completely lucid the entire time and can do nothing about it. You can't even communicate, but you can hear the taser arching. I never want to be tasered again, it was horrible. I will take OC spray (mace) which lasts about 20 minutes over the 5 second taser anyday. You can OC spray me now and it's no big deal to me, I've been srayed accidentally many times on the street by other officers when fighting with subjects.
There is nothing you can do to combat a taser, it is debilatating. If a bad guy threatened me with a taser, I'd probably wind up shooting him. Because, there is no fighting it or weapon retention when tased.
Tasing yourself or agreeing to being tased must be a stupid guy thing, women have much more sense than to do these things. My wife really doesn't understand it. I would buy my wife a taser if I was sure I wouldn't get her mad and she'd use it on me.
Jim
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My Boss had invisible fencing... and regularily walked his Lurcher, exiting @ one particular spot in the fence. He'd take off the charger collar and stick it in his jacket pocket til they returned. One day he didn't have a jacket, and stuck it in his slacks... err... tucked neatly up against a soft body part... and proceeded to cross the fencing. He told a very simular story as to the effects of getting zapped in the nads... and OF COURSE I was 100% sympathetic, and NEVER teased him about it.
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Heh-heh-heh! Men! Robin Williams once said that men have a brain, & genitals, but not enough blood to operate both at the same time.....I think these stories offer proof!  jackie harris |
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Oh, Lord, That's too funny!
I'm not sure it makes sense to test weapons on yourself, but let me get a video camera so I can win the $100,000!
I've seen the OP story above before, and laughed so hard my husband thought I'd gone nuts over here on the computer. Jim, you're one brave man to actually volunteer for more punishment rather than less. I don't see the logic, though, in having to be hit with it before you can carry it. The logic is flawed, since you don't have to be shot with all the various loads used, nor be beaten up...Who knows? Isn't it scary that these people breed?
Anyway, I was also reading the invisible fence story and I would pay to have been able to watch that! I guess it pays to pay attention!
Crys |
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| I think slamdunc's "brass" just like to see their guys squirm under the taser. Can you imagine? ;-)
Theresa |
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Not very nice of the "brass", is it?
I think I'd have to quit if it was that or quit. No way I'm getting shot, willingly!
Crys |
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Tears !! Tears !!! Rolling down my Face !! Stomach hurts from laughing soooooo Hard !!!
" The Cat on the Mantel " LOL !!!!  |
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Hey Crys and Sheesh,
I think the logic was so we would know what it feels like in case it is used on you; i.e. in case you lost it in a fight. They also wanted us to experience what the bad guy would feel and the effects, it also helps in court room testimony. We are all sprayed with OC spray in the Academy, then we must work and fight through it going straight into a DT scenario after being sprayed. The first time you are sprayed it is pretty bad, your eyes shut and you can't see, you can't breath and your mucous membranes run like a hose. Actually, being sprayed was good because you learn not to freak out when it happens on the street. Like most things in life the thought or anticipation is actually worse than the actual event. Like I said earlier I've been sprayed several times on the street accidentally and it's not a big deal, just very uncomfortable. The training in the academy prepared me for that. Now, I also learned that being tased is a bad day for me and I would react very seriously to some one threatening me with a taser, it's about the same as being threatened with a knife. The guy in that story wasn't exagerating.
Lucky for us we don't have to get shot or bean bagged, that's where I think I'd draw the line. ;)
The invisible fence story is great, something I'd probably do.
Jim
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Seriously? I hope it would be accidental! Kidding, of course. Not a single man I know would willing put his most tender and prized possessions on the line in such a way! You'll have to excuse the pun...I was just rereading this before I posted it and realized it was a double meaning!
Another thing, though...Imagine if they made you be the recipient of a dog attack so that you'd understand the pain of a K9 attack...Ouch. I imagine, though, that most dog handlers know all about being bitten, etc, since from what I've read, the occasional accident does happen.
Okay, I'm done thinking about the pain of electricity now. The worst I've ever done is touch an electric fence meant to stop a horse..Very invigorating.
Crys
As a footnote, on an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos, two young men decided to test out a bark collar. That was pretty entertaining. Apparently, on its highest setting, a bark collar will zap you if there is even the slightest contraction of muscles in your throat. Oops! |
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Crys,
No, No, No, I wouldn't do it intentionally, I'm just stupid enough to do it accidentally like the guy in the story. Trust me I go to great lengths to avoid pain when I can. Yes, I've been bitten several times by dogs most recently by one of our K9's and I had no equipment on. That really hurt and I remind the handler often. The handler still wonders why I won't play with his dog, once was enough. I learned a good lesson though; when you see a handler that is apprehensive to play tug of war with his own dog...don't believe him when he says it's ok for you to do it. That dog won't get me twice, I hope.
That bark collar is funny too, again things only stupid guys would do. Woman have much more sense.
Jim |
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Hey Jim, I knew you wouldn't do such a thing intentionally! I've never met you, but from what I know of police officers in general, I'd have a hard time believing that you could forget something like that, LOL!
Ah, well. Got to have a good laugh once in a while, and believe me, between all the nasty stuff on this board and dealing with a mother in law who seems determined to drive me to an early grave, I needed it. So thank you for the humor, all of you. And thanks, Jim, for using the pic of that handsome fellow on your avatar...He's really a great looking dog.
I tried to post this same message a bit ago, but this darn little net book thing is acting up and it locked me out of Internet explorer.
I'm off to enjoy about nine hours of much needed sleep before the grind starts again, so good night, all of you!
Crys |
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One last thought...It's not necessarily a gender issue, this lack of common sense (testing bark collars, etc). I have seen just as many women with a lack of common sense, too. Maybe guys get the bad rap because it's a macho thing...If you don't do the stupid thing, like the others, you're a chicken. Can't have brains get in the way of being macho....LOL!
Maybe it's best, though, if you buy a taser for your wife (or any other means of self defense) that you first set down the ground rules with her. Getting mad isn't a good reason to use it....Only for SELF DEFENSE, Honey!!!! I told my husband when we got together that I would never shoot him or stab him (bad experiences with exwife), but that that didn't mean I wouldn't use a cast iron skillet. I'd never hit him intentionally, but still, I made him a couple of promises. Promises I won't break.
Good night all. This teeny little keyboard is straining my command of the English language, and it's wearing me out hitting backspace and correcting my mistakes.
Crys
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