German Shepherd Dog > One Minute Too Late (13 replies)

One Minute Too Late
by BornInVietnam on 25 February 2012 - 08:49
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                                                     One Minute too late
          
There are moments in life where you just want to forget.. From time to time, you think about it and every time you do, you just felt isolated from the world for a while. In the meantime your eyes are salty and raw from the rivers flowing down your cheeks. You’re in the room with your best friend in your arms and there are boxes of tissues pushed aside, and some tissues are stained from the heart. Second thoughts are attacking your head, wanting to confuse and frustrate you on whether or not you should put her down. Many can relate, yet so difficult to express, but it’s definitely a unique experience that we all hope to never face again. Putting her down was never a thought. I knew after she was limping and was diagnosed with mammary cancer that only time will tell when she can no longer endure the pain. No words can describe the pictures that were taken on Feb.23.2012 in my mind from when she was in my arms as my tears pounded slowly down upon her face like the sound of her heart beat. Our last round of fetch was when I knew she’s fading quickly as for her favorite toy was thrown and she could hardly move to retrieve the ball. Her life revolves around me, her rubber kong and a water hose. Once she can’t fetch her kong, nor chase after the water, there’s absolutely no reason to force her to survive in vain. We both only had a time frame of 2 minutes once she was injected. I wanted to take my time and hug you like never before but without a yelp, you left me. The feeling couldn’t be worse, putting your best friend down is like hurting your own self. Why we have to experience those hurtful and emotional feelings are going to be left unanswered for the rest of our lives. I will forever regret the precious minute that I took for granted. If only I’d known you only had a few seconds to live… I’m sorry I was a minute too late to send you off to a better place. Wherever you may be, I want to let you know that I have a special place in my heart just for you. I just hope that in your new haven you could receive my special gift I gave to you, it’s a puppy kong to keep you forever young. And I hadn’t forgotten about your water hose. At least now you can use what God has given you, not three, but four legs. We were destined to meet and it’s our destiny to meet again in our next life.

Forever your biggest fan,

TT

                                                                                                              02/25/2012 
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by Echo on 25 February 2012 - 12:56
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That is a very touching tribute to your beautiful dog.
It is very sad to lose an animal that has truly touched your heart, as yours obviously did.
I am very sorry for your loss. May your beautiful girl now run free, without pain and chasing her Kong endlessly.
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by Doppelganger on 25 February 2012 - 23:11
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Better a day too soon than a moment too late.
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by Mindhunt on 26 February 2012 - 00:08
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BornInVietnam, we had to make a similar decision with our Loki and it was not an easy one but something we owed to him.  Letting him go with dignity before he realized that he was no longer the indestructible bad a*s dog that could take on anyone and come out a winner.  We never wanted him to realize how bad off he really was, we wanted him to still think he could do it all.  He had a very aggressive form of DM and when he began to have trouble breathing one night while he slept, we took him in the next day.  We knew it was the right decision when the vet tech came in to start the IV and was the exact image of Loki's old K9 trainer and Loki perked up thinking he was going to kick some decoy butt, that was how he went out, thinking he was going to kick butt.

My Oma always told me dogs are guardian angels sent here to learn about humans before starting their jobs.  A dog's life is short because they are born knowing everything it takes us a lifetime to learn (and some never do learn).  When they have learned what God sent them to learn, He calls them home.  They die with their eyes open in anticipation of seeing the glories of heaven again.  If you ever wonder how God sees you, look into the eyes of your dog.

I am sorry you had to go through this but I am so glad she had you and you recognized when it was time.  Sorry for your loss

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by Kalibeck on 26 February 2012 - 03:49
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Poor soul, it's the most awful feeling. I held my girl while she took her last breaths, that moment when you know they are gone is both an infinate horror, & a shock, to know it is over. No matter how you think you are ready, prepared for what must happen, that moment when they are limp in your arms is too soon.
You were there for her, you held her, & she knew you were there, & I'm sure that was a comfort to her.
It's strange, I thought I was the only person who wondered if their dog was settled in her new heavenly home....
I hope she finds Kali, they can be 2 new girls together, & comfort each other.
God bless you, I know how awful it is.
jackie harris
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by starrchar on 26 February 2012 - 04:04
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What a heartfelt and touching tribute to your beloved canine companion. Your post brought many tears to my eyes and I continue to cry as I type this. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I have been through the experience of letting a much loved canine companion go to the Bridge and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. We are never prepared for such a loss. My heart goes out to you. God speed cherished friend of BornInVietnam  
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by BornInVietnam on 26 February 2012 - 06:12
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I appreciate all of your thoughtful comments.
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by CMills on 26 February 2012 - 23:45
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That was so beautiful, and I am very sorry for your loss. I know, it is heartbreaking, but trust me, time will heal your broken heart. God Bless!
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by Smiley on 27 February 2012 - 00:29
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My sincere condolences......

Hugs,
Sara
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by Donnerstorm on 27 February 2012 - 01:29
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Beautifully written. I'm so sorry for you.  I had to put my first gsd love down last fall. You can't really explain that kind of heart ache to someone who is not a dog lover.  My Lady tried to protect me until the very end.  I was crying hysterically so she thought I was scared of the vet and the vet techs, she would not let them anywhere near me, which of course made me cry harder.  I have her ashes by my bed I still talk to her and I still cry for her.  We learn a lot from our dogs and mostly it's how to be better people.  I hope your girl finds an endless supply of kongs and water hoses.
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by Ruger1 on 27 February 2012 - 02:49
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Oh my, you made me cry,,I have been there too,,I am sorry,,
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by alboe2009 on 27 February 2012 - 03:33
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So, so sorry for your loss. RIP ole girl.
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by BornInVietnam on 27 February 2012 - 04:24
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I'm getting better. With another dog that I also love dearly in the house, she's keeping me pretty busy and with puppies coming in a few months, im hoping to laugh more and try to let it go. And I wanted to celebrate her 7th birthday in April, but she never made it. It feels great to have the connection with other people when they know what you're talking about. Thank you all once again.
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by hexe on 27 February 2012 - 06:17
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Trust--dogs don't need the words or the hugs to know your heart; it's not their currency for communication.  She knew you were helping her escape the illness that was robbing her of her joy, and she knew that doing so meant you were choosing to cause yourself pain in order to spare her from it... She'll be waiting, along with others who've passed through your life, when it's your time to join them.  I wish for you the peace that comes as you grieve for a well-loved friend, when you recognize it is only with such depth of love that an equal measure of sorrow could spring forth. 

And come that day in April, celebrate her anyway, for the dog she was and the part she played in your life...she deserves no less.
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